Hello! I am new here and this is my first blog post. My name is Sumner and I am 31 years old. I have Social Anxiety. I have had my whole life. I have always been the quiet one who nobody notices. I live in Virginia and have been in a long distance relationship for about 10 years with the love of my life, Rob. Rob has high functioning Autism and lives in Ohio. Due to many reasons we have been unable to see each other in person yet, but I am trying to change that. However, because of my social anxiety, I have never had a job. I have applied many times to many places but have never had a single interview. I don’t have a car right now either and Rob doesn’t drive. I have never been in a relationship before but I have also never felt this way about anyone before. My anxiety has held me back and I am so done with that. Our parents don’t believe our relationship is real but we know it is so they are not much help for us right now. Rob and I met on Twitter and instantly clicked. He just recently got a job at the gas station down the hill from his condo which I am thrilled about since he hasn’t had a job in a very long time. Rob makes me feel loved and accepted. I have always felt I was too weird to be loved. Rob has become friends with one of his co-workers who happens to be female. They have only been friends for about a month and he is letting her move in with him at the condo his mom owns and still pays the bills for. She will be living in his mom’s room. His mom lives with his grandmother. He hasn’t even told his mom about this. I am trying not to be jealous, but they are moving really fast. She doesn’t have the best living situation and I know he would never cheat on me, it just makes me sad because that’s all the stuff he and I are supposed to do together. I have talked with this girl  on Facebook messenger and she seems really nice. My anxiety has been really bad over this. Recently I was completely honest with Rob about everything and it made us realize just how much we love each other and we want to get married someday too. We are on Skype everyday. I guess I am just afraid that if I don’t figure out how to be with him soon, he is going to end up with this girl. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am scrambling now and I have no one to help me. My mom is no help. She doesn’t believe my relationship is real plus I think she is attached to me and doesn’t want to let me go. I need my own life and love. I would love to have my own Etsy shop. I do photography, writing, and drawing. Without Rob pushing me to do things, I wouldn’t have done many things because of my anxiety. Thanks for reading my first blog post and if anyone has any advice or help it would be greatly appreciated. How do I cope with this new friend moving in with him? How do I stop the “what if” thoughts? Most importantly, how does someone like me go about finding a job so I can start saving money so I can finally be with Rob?