i've been hanging out with a man who's recently separated from his wife. we're both creative but haven't had anyone to share our ideas with so we've been having a great time bouncing ideas between us! i've literally had so much fun exploringnew places learning more about manual photography and just in general he's a lovely man! I don't know the full story but it seems his wife is a bitch! she's been verbally, physically and mentally abusing him for 6 years….i guess i feel sorry for him, i know whats its like 🙁 but recently its been getting weirder like he'd come round every other evening, cook me dinner run me a bath, rub my feet :s he even bought me a SKYDIVE for my birthday. i know its weird i dont know why he's acting like this but i'm terrified if i say no he might turn nasty!! So yesterday we got back from another lovely day out and my mum was waiting for us on the doorstep :s my heart SANK i knew it was to do with his ex wife. he's still technically married, he only moved out a month ago. It turns out the crazy woman wants to admit a divorce for adultery!!!!!!!!! what a horrible accusation!!!!!!!!! i've done NOTHING wrong. he's just been so friendly, he's been suggestive but NO more. apparently his mum told his wife that we were DATING?!!!! WE'RE NOT. she flipped. he went home to talk to his wife see if theres any chance she would change her mind but she won't. it's gonna go through court soon and the whole church is gonna know and it's gonna destroy me!!!!!! i've been trying to go back to church for months but not had the guts and now i've got a real reason im so upset 🙁 My mum was quite supportive, she's gutted for me coz she knew all i wanted was a friend and it all happened at a bad time and i've been dragged into this MESS, i felt suicidal when my mum left. i was speaking to a friend on facebook and she offered to come over she lives miles away but i offered to pay for her taxi n everything £35 :/ but it was worth it. i'd already self harmed by the time she got here but she cleaned me up and made me some toast and jsut sat for hours listening to me vent. i met her on my stepps course she also has BPD so knows how it feels to feel emotions so intensely. I feel heartbroken..i've just lost a gd friend 🙁 and it's messy!!! EVERYONE is gonna think im dirty :'( i'm so furious. his wife is SO immature, the worse thing is she's plastered it all over facebook!!!!!!!!! SO naturally the world knows. My friend stayed with me all morning and afternoon, she came with me to town and to do a food shop incase i bumped into anybody. Now she's left i feel it all coming back 🙁 i'm so tired tho, we were talking until 4am…! The only things keeping me here is my lovely kittens, even my boss is worried about me :s oops. i told him i can't work today coz of personal reasons and he replied saying hope ur ok im worried about u. i can't talk about THE SITUATION without breaking down in tears. literally i'm a quivvering wreck right now! Thank you for listening. If your gonna comment please be kind i'm feeling very fragile!!

Naomi xx