Alright….Hey everyone, Hope all is well with the tribe…Like I said now that i\'m back I\'d try to post regularly again, Though yesterday (Saturday) was like a blur and I just didn\'t have any time what\'s so ever to post anything yesterday :
Anyway, So a small recap on yesterday:
Sat morning a guy form sears came to fix the ice-maker in our fridge, Something broke off or something…Of course having some stranger- Espeically when I\'m not dressed for company or anything, Hell I was JUST starting to get some sleep when he got there.
It sent me into a panic attack, But I didn\'t say anything. Instead I just stayed in my comfort zone- my room- and Listened to music, and somewhere during all that I was able to fall asleep for an hour.
Which believe it or not, That\'s pretty good..Usually I can\'t even rest half an hour.
Anyway, after that though mom sent my brother to wake me up, Because we we\'re going with them to vote- Nightmare.
We got there, and it was beyond packed, More then I thought it would be. The whole time in line I was silently freaking out, It took three ours in that horrible line..
and mom, My brother and dad were talking to the people around us, she got water for this guy chad or something and he let us use his chairs and all that shit, but she kept trying to get me into the conversations, When I was trying not to spiral out of control in public with my social anxiety.
Then, to make matters worse after all that they wanted to go out to eat, and for people who have read my other posts, Food is one of the enemies in my life, and the annoying cycle of ED\'s.
I felt like such an idiot for being so panicked over that and my anxiety though, I ended up not being able to resist and I cut, I feel so weak willed.
So that\'s how Saturday went.
Not much has happened Sunday yet…It\'s only 1:13 in the morning after all…But i\'m already dreading later today, Because we have to go see my Grandmother (on my mom\'s side) and take her out to lunch.
I\'m scared she\'s gonna make some comment again, and right now I know I can\'t handle that or jokes, whether they actually mean it or not, I feel that the smallest thing will probably set me off.
And all of this is causing my depression to worsen, and my anti-depresants aren\'t doing shit. I don\'t know why I bother to even take them anymore.
So…We\'ll see how today goes I guess, I\'ll \'see\' you later…Erm, hope the rest of the tribe is doing alright