So, I wanted to check if my number was blocked by my ex, and it ended with her cussing me out, saying she wasted 3 years of her time on a sheltered piece of shit who tries to act gangster, who doesn’t know shit about nothing. She posts on her Insta story about how she wants her last name to be her new boyfriends. How some people just keep trying to run back. She apparently got kicked out of her mom’s. She doesn’t want any of the gifts I gave her during the relationship. She absolutely hates my fucking guts. And her and her boyfriend forced me to take down some old photos of her that were on my profile. I feel like a waste of space. I made 2 calls to the suicide hotline and, I was taken to the emergency room. The worst part, is that she said i was petty. That she wanted to he friends after the break up to keep me alive, to make sure I didn’t hurt, but that I had the audacity to say I didn’t want to be friends. She said now, she could care less if I burnt in hell. I didn’t want to be friends because I could tell I was bringing her down with me. Because I was ruining everything for her and I knew I wouldnt be able to get over it if I was still friends. Now she thinks I did it to hurt her. I feel worse than nothing. She said if I looked at her that she would personally rock my shit. Her boyfriend would rock my shit. And honestly, I want to beat the shit out of both of them. I keep having blips of hatred, where I think about taking a gun and shooting both in the heart. I can’t go to school anymore or I would end up probably fighting both of them. If I don’t go to school im a fucking spineless pussy in their eyes. I lose either fucking way.

It’s so so so fucking hopeless.

1 Comment
  1. Author
    peytonbarnard-crum 2 months ago

    I want to say, I would never EVER shoot anyone. I’m a kind and pacifistic person. These thoughts trouble me deeply, but I’m seeing help. I have a therapist, and counselor. I would never act on such thoughts.

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