So,today I start my blogging journey – and I'm scared! Writing has been such a therapeutic process for me – allowing me to navigate my thoughts, struggles, and successes in a way that I have not been able to do through thinking and talking alone. I keep a thought journal, a prayer journal, a gratitude journal and a therapy journal – yes I truly love to journal! But all of that writing has been private and personal and there is safety in that for me. I have shared entries with my psychiatrist and psychologist, my husband and a few with close-friends, but overall those journals have been for my own processing and my own reflecting.
But with blogging I am about to reveal a very real and vulnerable part of myself. Yet, I also find great comfort in knowing that I am not walking this path alone. Jesus is next to me holding my heart and my hand. Recently during my quiet time with God I have been feeling a prompting to reveal my testimony and to show His greatness, His love and His faithfulness to a larger audience. I have been praying for wisdom these past few weeks. Asking my Maker just exactly how He wants me to share my testimony and journey – and the answer has always been"daughterspeakandwrite".
Now you see, I sometimes forget that God knows me completely so I began explaining to Him that with social anxiety being only one of my many diagnosis this was not exactly going to work. My anxiety about sharing a vulnerable part of myself through writing was simply too difficult and Him and I hadn't even worked out that whole speaking thing. But as I laid in bed last night this verse filled my mind,“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”(Philippians4:6-7). So although I am anxious, I will bow at the feet of my Lord and thank Him that I have a gift for writing, that I have an awesome journey to write about because of Him, and that avenues like blogs exist so His Kingdom can be glorified. I will not try to understand His plans for me, for His plans are greater than I can ever imagine. And I find such comfort that His Word tells me that my greatest fears are unfounded; for He will guard my heart and mind. Oh how I love His promises!
I pray that through this blog my love for Jesus will shine, that inspiration will be found in the greatness of the one, true God and that hope is found for those battling the darkness of mental illnesses.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."(Psalms 119:105)