It was done. I had messed everything up. I was never the poster child every parent forces you to try to be, no I wasn’t that child and I wasn’t going to be. I was just me. A girl who didn’t have a dad and probably was never going to have one. I have no idea why I acted out so much when I was younger it was stupid. It only hurt my mom. Yeah I got in trouble but at least my mom was paying attention to me. Maybe that was it maybe that was why I acted out. Maybe I acted out because I felt unloved. For as long as I can remember I was never a priority to my mother it was always about Cody.. Cody a name I soon grew to hate. She never wanted to spend time with me. I spent countless hours working on small little things for my mom but it was never enough. But I couldn’t ever completely hate Cody, he was the closest thing to a father I had. I knew he was only there for my mom but I guess a little bit of me hoped he had loved me. I got older. More and more time went on. I lost hope. I was now seven. My sister was born. When she was first born I hated her. She got everything. She got all of the love, she got all the time, she even got the prettier name. All I could think about is how she stole the love I worked so hard for. She made life hard very very hard. Fast forward to the start of 6th grade. I finally had hope in something more than my mother and Cody. I had hope for the understanding of true friendship. My very first few friends consisted of: Tristan, she was a dork and I loved her, Nate, he is just a weirdo, he was my best friend, JJ, he had a dark sense of humor, and there’s Tobais, I had feelings for him and he knew. I never understood why he hung out with us..he was way cooler than any of us.
The start of it.
-
to not be me
delane1, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Anxiety, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, 4
i feel as though i’m damned–no matter what choices i make. *sigh i don’t want to be some place...
-
Time isn’t moving fast enough…
88PercentIntroverted, , Depression, Marriage & Family, Anger, Career, Depression, Relationships, 0
Everyone says “Time passes by to quickly”, but to me it can’t move fast enough. I’m in my senior...
-
My Journey Part 1.
EmmyLu77, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Addiction, Anxiety, Bipolar, Career, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, PTSD, Relationships, Weight Loss, 0
My name is Emma. I’m will turn 22 in exactly a month. I have struggled with severe depression and...
-
Family is a Luxry Part 2
Sarina_Luna94, , Depression, Marriage & Family, 0
I’m adding a second part to my previous blog. I’m out of sorts and confused about what I’m feeling...
-
Choosing someone or yourself game
Littlewing, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Relationships, Weight Loss, 0
I was trying to commit to my diet and my sobriety. But sometimes food and my shweed are the...
-
Just don’t know why
Prettyblues08, , Marriage & Family, Addiction, ADHD, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Relationships, Stress, 0
my husband and I have been together for 12 years and in 12 years we have been through so...
-
Boyfriend Issues
BLeigh05, , Anxiety, Marriage & Family, Child, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
I guess the problem with him is that I don’t know where we stand. I’ve loved this man since...
-
Living in the pit of despair
Mintedbae, , Addiction, Depression, Marriage & Family, Anger, Medication, Obesity, Sleep Disorders, 0
I didn’t cut anymore. The purpose that I originally started out with had disappeared, therefore there was no reason...

