It was done. I had messed everything up. I was never the poster child every parent forces you to try to be, no I wasn’t that child and I wasn’t going to be. I was just me. A girl who didn’t have a dad and probably was never going to have one. I have no idea why I acted out so much when I was younger it was stupid. It only hurt my mom. Yeah I got in trouble but at least my mom was paying attention to me. Maybe that was it maybe that was why I acted out. Maybe I acted out because I felt unloved. For as long as I can remember I was never a priority to my mother it was always about Cody.. Cody a name I soon grew to hate. She never wanted to spend time with me. I spent countless hours working on small little things for my mom but it was never enough. But I couldn’t ever completely hate Cody, he was the closest thing to a father I had. I knew he was only there for my mom but I guess a little bit of me hoped he had loved me. I got older. More and more time went on. I lost hope. I was now seven. My sister was born. When she was first born I hated her. She got everything. She got all of the love, she got all the time, she even got the prettier name. All I could think about is how she stole the love I worked so hard for. She made life hard very very hard. Fast forward to the start of 6th grade. I finally had hope in something more than my mother and Cody. I had hope for the understanding of true friendship. My very first few friends consisted of: Tristan, she was a dork and I loved her, Nate, he is just a weirdo, he was my best friend, JJ, he had a dark sense of humor, and there’s Tobais, I had feelings for him and he knew. I never understood why he hung out with us..he was way cooler than any of us.
The start of it.
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The Inevitable Change
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Last year I got burned badly by my family who I never thought would do that to me. Being...
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Parents.
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Im suppose to be healing..
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You would think that 5 years doesn’t seem like a long time but in truth it isnt but it...
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A unique case.
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Frustrated today
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It’s just one of them days today, I am incredibly frustrated with being at home doing nothing. I don’t...
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Holiday Blues
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*Trigger warning: sexual abuse, trauma, suicide* Hello Tribe, I am back, it’s been longer than I would have liked,...
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The AACHE
Littlewing, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Anxiety, Sleep Disorders, 7
The ache pretty much summons up everything going on in the mind, body and soul. I have some news....
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my son
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I saw my son for the first time in over 2 years today. We had lunch in a gazebo...


