A few days back I found myself again at the tipping point, the place where it is all too easy to decend into the abyss that is depression. It crept up on me this time, I had failed to notice the fog thathad been surrounding me until it compounded into a strong and scary panic attacks. I kicked myself for not noticing earlier. How many times getting depressed does it take for you to recognise the signs? But I’m positive. I seem to have caught it at an early enough stage that I will be able to get better by myself. I will. I’ve done it before many times.

This time I’m very proud of myself for doing something I would have never dreamed of when I was younger. I cancelled plans this weekend to take time out for self care and admitted to my friends why (they weren’t very close friends, two or three of my best friends know(some of) my struggles).  I have been so busy recently running around people pleasing, trying to keep up appearances and keep everyone happy and I’ve had enough. I haven’t had enough down time  time in ages and it’s starting to stress me out. So I cancelled plans and admitted that I’m feeling stressed and getting down so  need some time for selfcare and rest. The world didn’t end. People didn’t start hating  or worse pitying me and I got what I needed without the guilt I usually feel about lying. Half of the anxiety I feel comes from tying to hide my anxiety and depression and appear normal. But I’m sick of worrying about it and am ready to  start being more open about it in the future.

Now  it’s time to work on my social anxiety. I think that if I get my anxiety under control that I will experience depression less often. Has this been the case for any of you?

What have your experiences been with opening up to people about your depression or social anxiety?


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