I can't even dosimple tasks like buying stuff for myself. I even became agoraphobic and I can hardly go out of our house.Iexperiencethisevery timei try to go shopping. Even before I ever leave my house I change clothes multiple times bc I already have anxiety about how I will look to others. I love shopping for clothes and beauty products, but I cant even go into my favorite stores without feeling so distressed that it kills any joy I get from my shopping. often ill spend hours just preparing to go to the grocerystore to pick up one or two things and end up never going because of the pressure.
The worst part is sitting in class and waiting around to be called on. As soon as they say my name my heart starts pounding and I just know I'm not going to perform well speaking. Sometimes when someone says something funny I find it hard to keep a straight smile because of the self awareness issue.I completely relate to this because I often cant even focus on what is going on in class bc im to busy overanalyzing my fears of getting called on. im preoccupied withthoughts like "what will i say? will i be able to talk loud enough? will my voice be shakey? im probably going to blush and sweat. all the while im very self aware of myself and my appearance. i focus on my posture, how im sitting, what my face looks like. i pick at my fingernails and my clothes constantly and fidget.
I would drive twenty minutes to class and if I was a minute or two late, I wouldn't go in. I couldn't bear the thought of walking in late and having everyone look at me while I tried to find a seat.True story: my last year in high school, when i started driving myself, i almost failed my english class bc i would be a couple minutes behind and i couldnt bare walking into that class in front of everyone. it got worse when i started college. i have dropped many classes because i just never made it to them bc i was late the first couple of days. there would be days that i would be determined and drive all the way to campus only to sit in the parking lot for about 10 minutes and talk myself out of it.
- I just suffer from social anxiety…I am afraid of when the teachers say introduce yourself… Like I'm going to die and stop breathing when I am forced to speak in front of so many strangers…It's horrible…I don't know what to do for this problem.
My college life is non-existent because of S.A.D..I hardly ever left my house/garden, between the age of 11-18my parents divorced when i was 10. i moved in with my mother at her home in the middle of nowhere. she was very strict when it came to me leaving the house. it got to a point that i knew better than to ask to leave the house more than once in two weeks. she would always say "well you just went out last week".
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- I feel like I could perform many times better academically if I didn't have this persistent fog of anxiety in my head
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- i wish i was a student who was able to be outgoing in class. I wish i could be opinionated and able to charm my instructor and classmates with my smarts. often when i know the answer to a question i get a rush. i feel my face flush and a momentary body sweat. its like im thinking about what if i was to answer and i already have physical nervous reactions.
- I'm frequently depressed out of my mind because I feel like I'm trapped and isolated from other people for no reason.im smart. i have a good sense of humor. i can be passionate about my ideals and opinions. but im just show shy noone sees taht part of me. not even anyone in my family.
I have withdrawn from or gotten a bad grade in many courses because of the anxiety I get when writing papers or giving a presentation.My relationship with my boyfriend is suffering becauseI dread hanging out with his friends or going to a party where I don't know many people.I can't play sports with him because I feel like others are judging me and I'm not very coordinated.I constantly think that other people don't like meand Ireplay moments in my head when I think I said or did something stupid over and over.I know people probably aren't evaluating me as harshly as I think, but I can't stop myself from feeling that way. I used to love singing, but I stopped because I wouldcry in the middle of performances.I feel like this has taken away my life from me.
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sorry about how unorganised this blog is. sorry if its hard to read. i was looking over other ppls experiances coping with sad in college. it amazed me. there are so many experiances that i am not alone in struggleing with. its good to know im not alone.
to clarify- my words are in red. black words are others.
You sound like me. We have a lot in common actually. You can message me if you want to ever talk. Also, I read your other post and just remember that even if you\'re at the doctor and they want to run tests they can\'t without you giving your permission. You can say no to any of them if you like, so don\'t feel pressure.
I think the program at the Midwest Center for Anxiety and Depression could really help you. Consider it. I am in the same boat and only in the 3rd week of the program and it is helping already. I may have waited too late to get it – so I encourage you to consider it.
Self Esteem and lack of control are the only issues you have to face. Once you learn that this anxiety is self induced you are going to start coming out of this.
Keep talking to people on these blogs, and I highly encourage you to get some counselling from a counselor that understands Anxiety and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approaches.
Good Luck
Tim
I have SAD too. Me and you have alot of the same issues as well. Believe it or not, you can overcome it. I want to send you a friend request, and I hope that you will accept it. It\'s a real bummer when anxiety is holding you back from shining in life. I\'ve overcame it once before, so it\'s possible. You ever heard that saying, \”If you\'ve done it once, you can do it again.\” Well, it\'s true StormyGirlOdd. Maybe we can chat, compare stories and begin the healing process again.
-G