Sometimes the only word that comes to your head when someone swings by and asks 'how are you?'is the simplest answer. Tired.

I know they are just asking to be polite, why else would we humans go around, asking that of the others we meet? Not everyone has the time to lend their ear to listen to the full answer. One word should be enough. Yet I still cannot bring myself to say that word because I get frustrated that it doesn't mean exhaustion to a whole other depth that I want to show.

Why? You sleep so early every day of the week! If I try to contact you after 10, you don't get back to me till the next day.

But this type of tired doesn't get fixed with sleep, I feel. It wanes a bit but returns eventually.

And as the word hints, it's just so exhausting.

I am tired of waiting for things to come out right, for the actions I do today to be worth it in the end whatever that may be, of cotinuing to do what I absolutely can even though its so obvious that all the others around me take it easy. I am tired of waiting for people who care about me to get back to me even if they are busy with their own lives, of crossing off days on a calender with next to no events marking the slots and tired of being exhausted to the limit that any thing out of place, be it a pen, a person, or schedule changes make my head spin and tears want to gush out of my screwed up eyelids while I slump in a corner.

It's not the bitter kind of tired, I am too worn out for that. It's the slow, weak tired. 
So I don't do much in reaction.

And the more I give it a definition, the more it consumes me.


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