Okay, how come sucidal isn't under moods? That would be my mood, sucidal I suppose. I feel many emotions at the moment, nothing good. I am not able to reach out to anyone at this time, I can't explain why. I am thinking about so many things. I'm unhappy with my lack of everything.I think I'm becoming a person, people afobic, which is really twisted since we all require each other, ughhhh, I'm so doomed.If I live on, which in my case is exist, mooching off the world, I will prolong the sadness of my life and stay in this place, for how much longer. I have reached the edge and can see forever, I feel the wind on my sorrows, I feel the longing to be quiet,still,silent, before, always before, I just wanted to be heard but no longer does it matter wheather or not I'm heard if my words fall on deaf ears, the world no longer requires me and I no longer require it. I want out !

I've been thinking about the fallout of my sucide, my mom would be alone, my daughter and son, well we don't have relationships because I don't have money and they don't need me, the rest of my family will grieve and go forth, there are not many people with whom I need to stay in this shit for. Everyone would probably be angry and hurt, but what about me? I've been well you all no, without.Then there's the, what to do with my body, I haven't any way to take care of that, no ones helped take care of me, I had things rolling along then I meet him and them now they all have my life's work and my life is a warning bell always alarming. Even death is a problem, money, money, money, just wonder what would happen if I had some. I could at least take care of me but it doesn't really matter anymore I have no desire to find out about life anymore, breathing is just a f*cking reminder of another long, sad, empty, day.