After many months and a move far away from Iowa…..my life I believe is on the mend. A lot has happened. When in Iowa I lost my mind the pain was in my face constant there and I couldn't escape. At one point I waited for my daughter to leave the house spread out plastic cried and loaded my husbands gun sat on the floor and pulled the trigger three times it misfired three times my life was saved. My mind is healing slowly. I'd be lying if I said it still didn't hurt. I still wondered if I wanted to live even as recent as last month but last week I passed out fell hit my head on concrete and suffered a severe concussion. When I came to all I could think about was getting to my husband all the things I needed to say and to hold him one more time I wasn't ready to go. I wanted to live in that moment when I was sure I had fractured my skull and was sure I was bleeding in my brain even thru the fog I wanted to live and I knew that I wasn't ready to die. I'm healing physically now and praying every day that God will heal my mind and soul too. I guess the old song you never know what you've got till its gone is true in every sense of the word. I cussed God out for that gun misfiring! Never knowing what was to come. I'm still sad daily and I'm still having nightmares but I'm alive and I wake up held in warm arms every morning. I pray that even though it's tough to go day to day for most of you that you have at least one moment of peace in your day. God bless.

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