Today I just got out of the hospital I was in the psych ward for 10 days. First I have to say that I am a recovering addict and I thought that my depression was from my years of drugs use. I I have 2 years clean. in 2009 2010 i was only useing here and their. 2008 was a really bad year 2007 was clean for 9 months second longest clean time. 2006 still smoking pot on and on my anit depressants. Anyway the point of this rant is that I THOUGHT that when I would finally get some clean time. My depression would not be able to come back as strong as it did. 5 months ago I started geting depressed. My dr wouldn't change my meds. It got worse. I saw him again he didnt change them again. I went to the hospital and they said that they would call him to try to get to change my meds. And he did. But The new med made me feel worse. So I put myself in the hospital. With 2 years clean. So before I would stay up late at night. Be so fucking tired the next day. Stay up be to tired to do anything the next day. Over and and over again. So I didn't have any caffen all week and now I can't sleep I can't start it again. I had a hafe a cup of coffee that's it and I felt so anxious I could put my phone down. So the things I'm depressed about2 years clean and depressed Sons father left 7 years ago. Spent the first 7 years of my sons life depressed, high or in rehab/hafe way houses. He's 9 now Sever learning disabilities couldn't finish college or pass hardly any classes. Son wanting me to adupt a brother for him. I want so bad to adupt children but my life is to fucked up right now. I can't Not paying for anything for my son. Ex girlfriend was abusive.


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