I left my husband about 4 years ago. He was mentally and emotionally abusive, sometimes it got physical. I ended up at my brothers home, where my Mom lived also. She got sick and I spent the next 4 years taking care of a woman that didn't want me as a child, and let me know regularly. In that time I did take my husband back, he seen what he had done and has changed. I'm not saying that he doesn't regress now and then but he is better. In December of 2009 we took in my then 10 year old grandson, who had been abused, in every which way you could imagine. For the next two years we all did pretty well. Then last August my mother decided that she wanted to move back to Ohio. My husband and I made it happen. We were back almost a month and Mom pasted. I have delt with my oldest daughter ( the mother of my grandson I now have) an addict that has lost two of her three children due to men and drugs. I thought things were finally going to be better and we all could be a family again, here go to t-ball games, play dates, ice cream with all my wonderful grandchildren. Well that won't happen now. About a month ago, my 4th daughter calls me and tells me that my grandson has touched her daughter ( my 6yr old granddaughter) not once but twice, then I find out that it happened back at christmas with his 1/2 sister, and my 4 year old grandson too. it was touching not penatration, but it is bad. My grandson has problems and has finally been diagonised with Aspergers, and ADHD. I still love him and I love and miss my other grandchildren. He isn't allowed around the other children anylonger, I can understand this, I just wish that we could all work as a family and get help for all of them. I feel like I have faild with not only my own children but my grandchildren. This last six months has been HELL finding out that my Mother has lied and stole from family and friends, to find out that the only person that actually cared about me was lain in a grave for over 26 years with no head stone that was paid for. Why is that my Mothers bday is Sunday that I feel like I am goin to Bust wide open. I read one of the blogs … I can be a very good actress, everythings fine we will get through this and when they leave or it is night all these things fill my mind ? Its a total nightmare I don't know where to turn, I have no friends, no one to confide in….. I tried to journal, well that bit me in the butt…. you aren't supposed to feel like that, suck it up, you are the adult act like one….. all I want to do is cry

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 10 years ago

    No, you do not suck it up. When journaling brings stuff up, you write and write until the emotions are not overwhelming. Then after resting, an hour, a day, a week, a month, whatever you need, Then you pick up the journal again and gradually write your way to healing. As for the grandson, he seems to be modeling behavior he has experienced and may well have accepted it as OK behavior. You are correct, he needs help. I would start searching the state agencies for help. I would also join the autistic/Aspergers groups and see what help can be had going that route. Good luck to you, in all your endeavors.

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