the question in my head is why?

why do people judge me without getting to know me first.

I have troubles making friends cause of this issue. NO body wants to give me the chance cause I dont fit in their 'crowd'

I am 27 years old & I dont fit in a 'crowd' this is crazy, you'd think by now as an adult you didnt need to fit in anywhere to make a friend. this is bs.

where i live if you dont smoke, drink, or party ur an outsider….REALLY?? they see me coming & are like run away!! i havent had anyone to talk too in years, i stay @ home pretty much all the time except my work hours & even then I am alone cause im not working with anyone im by myself. i deliver 850 papers around town @ 3am every day by then everyone is asleep. the 1 friend i do have isnt really considered a friend she only comes over like every other blue moon to say hi for 5 mionutes then she comes up with the lamest excuses to leave. 1 of my oldest friends from back in the day like 2 weeks agao we will say that.. she hooked me up on a date…i almost didnt go…..but i did as a nice person, met this pretty girl named laura, i thought we hit it off pretty good for awhile. we went to the water park, she asked to go in the river run which is this 2 foot deep river pool that goes round & circles…kinda lame if ur tall like me…anyways these numb nuts idiots got between us & blocked the river so as she got farther away from me i had to wait for these idiots to move out of the way. when i got up to her she said 'this isnt working out' & asked me to leave…….till this day i want to smack those idiots cause they screwed up my date….later that day she contacted me again & we talked it out. now were friends for now. the only thing that sucks is i really do like her & shes an hour away. lack of transportation keeps me from seeing her like i want too. but weve been texting almost every day. shes my only friend i have thats a true fact.

what i would like to do is make more but its hard to do that cause of the 'crowd' im not trying to be selfish but try living in my shoes for a day..everyday its the same thing…i stay awake all night cause i have the paper route. when i come i go to bed im back up @ 1pm, i play on fb for a few hours then go for a walk with the dog. i live alone with a dog & a cat. this goes on everyday the same thing everyday. people say why dont you go out..ok so i go out..every time i say hi to someone they pretend im not there. i havent had a girlfriend since i was 11 years old…..they say if a girl doesnt have sex for so many years shes considered a virgin…is that the same thing with guys? though im not sex addicted. the thought of me naked is a nightmare…bad enough i have to wash myself you really think i wanna show my body off?? umm no! its starts to suck when ur lonely & you have no 1 to talk nice to find someone i could just talk to for hours.


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