I’m not sure how many people on this site take medication..but I do..What I take is supposed to cover my depression and my anxiety…Supposed to..I take Paxil 30 MG..I remember when it was working like a charm for me…I was going out more..I was socializing more on the outside..Things weren’t getting out of hand in my life mainly because I was able to keep things at a certain level for myself..I was smiling..and I was reaching realistic goals and I wasn’t thinking negatively about myself..Mainly because the Paxil had everything covered…It managed my depression and Anxiety issues..I would say for maybe five years it did wonders…Then I don’t know what the hell happened…I started having trouble sleeping…Serious insomnia…Negative thoughts all over again..I forgot to mention that I do get negative thoughts..I started feeling depressed everyday and even worse than ever…My anxiety feelings got worse…I also have serious anxiety issues when I go outdoors…these feelings got worse in the last two years..I don’t know why…but also things in my life have gotten really out of hand..Life has gotten more stressful than usual..and what I thought I could handle had started to become unbearable and I started to become beyond highly stressed…Things in my life dramatically changed…my ability to cope with things in my life..has minimized..Now the question has come up to me about changing my medication..I honestly don’t know what to do..mainly because I don’t like the withdrawal feelings…Like today..I had to pick up my Paxil today from the pharmacy because I didnt’ have any Paxil for maybe two or three days…I barely made it back home in one piece..I was sick as a dog..Withdrawal from that medicine is hell for me…I get nauseous seriously..and feel extremely uncomfortable and off balance inside…I felt horrible…

Its hard for me to pick a new medicine with my Psychiatrist mainly because I feel like a guinea pig…I don’t want to “try this”…I want a medicine that “definitely” will help me in many ways and if I run out..I don’t want withdrawal..but I know thats asking for too much..because I know of some people that go through withdrawal as well..from different meds..

I was hoping one day to get off the meds and live on my own without medication…but honestly I feel like I will have to spend my whole life on meds..mainly because of what I go through when I am outdoors…The whole outdoors thing I will explain next time…I really hate all this..