Can someone look inside my head and tell me why after I had a very good day yesterday, when I sat down to unwind, I became depressed. 

Granted, I was home alone again, but summer is coming which means there will be many afternoon/evenings such as this.  My husband flies RC planes, so if the weather is nice, he is gone until sunset.  I do have yoga now to occupy some of the time, but on the other hand I don’t like to be too busy or live a full calendar.  I go with him once in a while but it gets old after a bit.

What am I trying to say here?  Maybe I mind him being gone more than I care to admit.  Most people would be glad at the chance for some "me time" but perhaps that is part of my problem, I have too much of it already.  Then when I am bored, my mind wanders and you know the rest.

i should be grateful for the beautiful day the Lord gave me yesterday, the feeling of hope, and the ability to be productive.  I cleaned the stain underneath my stepper and moved the new mats underneath the excercise equipment, yes I moved them myself 🙂             I made a nice dinner, I finished planting seeds, I believe I am done for this spring.  I carried out the hibiscus and banana tree from the basement out into the greenhouse.   Al in all it was a good day.

As the day came to a close, first I was tempted.  I found my prayers and read from the bible, but the thoughts would not go away.  I became angry with myself for even thinking it just because I was not keeping busy.  Then I put on sad music, drank some wine, and that just made it worse.  I was near tears by the time Tom walked in.  He asked if I was okay, I said I was fine, and we ate dinner. 

This afternoon is going to be tough again, I can feel it already.  Satan, back off, let me be, I have bigger and better plans and they do not include you.  Lord, help me find the strength I need to make this a day I can turn over to you with pride. 

God bless everyone, especially the people on Dtribe.


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