Can someone look inside my head and tell me why after I had a very good day yesterday, when I sat down to unwind, I became depressed.
Granted, I was home alone again, but summer is coming which means there will be many afternoon/evenings such as this. My husband flies RC planes, so if the weather is nice, he is gone until sunset. I do have yoga now to occupy some of the time, but on the other hand I don’t like to be too busy or live a full calendar. I go with him once in a while but it gets old after a bit.
What am I trying to say here? Maybe I mind him being gone more than I care to admit. Most people would be glad at the chance for some "me time" but perhaps that is part of my problem, I have too much of it already. Then when I am bored, my mind wanders and you know the rest.
i should be grateful for the beautiful day the Lord gave me yesterday, the feeling of hope, and the ability to be productive. I cleaned the stain underneath my stepper and moved the new mats underneath the excercise equipment, yes I moved them myself 🙂 I made a nice dinner, I finished planting seeds, I believe I am done for this spring. I carried out the hibiscus and banana tree from the basement out into the greenhouse. Al in all it was a good day.
As the day came to a close, first I was tempted. I found my prayers and read from the bible, but the thoughts would not go away. I became angry with myself for even thinking it just because I was not keeping busy. Then I put on sad music, drank some wine, and that just made it worse. I was near tears by the time Tom walked in. He asked if I was okay, I said I was fine, and we ate dinner.
This afternoon is going to be tough again, I can feel it already. Satan, back off, let me be, I have bigger and better plans and they do not include you. Lord, help me find the strength I need to make this a day I can turn over to you with pride.
God bless everyone, especially the people on Dtribe.