I really don’t undstand why I feel the way I do.  I should be the happiest person around.  I have a great job, a man who claims to love me, I own my own house and seem to have the great life going.  Still I have weekends and days that I just can’t seem to keep things going.

I forget what I am doing most days and just want to sleep.  I get home from work and just want to do nothing.  The house could be a huge mess, I have a couple messages from friends to get together,  or the dog need to go out for a walk and I do NOTHING. 

I just want to clear my mind and sleep.  I tried pills a couple years ago and they just made me feel nothing not happy and not sad and gain weight, which is not helping now that I am fat.  Some days I just don’t know what to do.

I thought it was my last job that made me so unhappy, so I got a new one.  Wasn’t that cause I am in the same boat as I was a year ago.  Thought it might be that my man don’t want to commit to me.  Well he moved in 3 months ago and all is working out great.  Aside from the fact that he don’t understand why I am sad so much and there is nothing that he can do and he gets angry about it. 

I didn’t have a horrible childhood, mind you it could of been better, but it could of been worse.  Most people these days are from a split family.  Most people don’t talk to either of their parents, and I am really close to my Dad.  So what that I don’t talk with my mother, most people wish that would happen.  Why does this affect me so much? 

Is this just how it is to be?  Is there anything other than pills or Doctors that you will have to take out a loan to pay for?

Does anyone have any answers for me?