I don’t know will all this ever end….One thing after another, something is constantly happening to me right at the time when I start to sort out things. I had quite a sad month. Somehow I can handle all this work-school-work thing, even though I failed my first test…I was ready for it, but because I was supertired after work I couldn’t concentrate and the result…oh…I was so upset. But my money problems are just killing me. My laptop went down, so I had to buy new one. Now dentist adds up. Maybe for someone it doesn’t seem a lot, but in my situation now – it’s way to much for me…The worst thing – a lot of expenses are coming up, and I don’t know how to handle all it…I just don’t know….My head is ready to blow. I don’t feel secure about my future, I don’t feel secure about anything. My private life is still a mess. On the one hand it’s so frustrating that our relations turned out into all long-distance thing, on the other I understand that I wouldn’t be able to pull out normal reations if he was here. But I need him in real, at least for a little bit. Sometimes I think that I live in a fantasy world, sometimes I think "what if…", sometimes I feel like to say "go to hell – you and your job". It’s all because I don’t see the end of this. We planned a lot of things, but they are delaying and delaying, for months. I’m afraid to wish for smth. I become paranoid about some things, and I feel so lonely. The only one person whose help I’d like to accept, who could give me strength and calm me down, is not able to do it now….
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Regret
GetBetter, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
I'm starting a new job on Thursday. I thought that it would make me feel better and feel happy,...
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A Sanctuary and a Mirror
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This site is like a sanctuary for me. Here I can shed this facade of happiness and speak my...
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Eventful
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I threw a childish tantrum yesterday while no one else was home. It turned out that my two tall...
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Okay…
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Hi! (Please don’t judge this post, I’ve never blogged before) So, I have depression and anxiety, AND ITS FREAKING...
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Better…maybe
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I'm feeling considerably better than I did yesterday. Went to WW this morning and got 5 lb star. I...
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How not to drink coffee
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We’re going to pretend that this is the reason I’m irritated, and ignore the fact that in an hour...
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Stupid title bs…
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He didn't deserve it. Eddie did, but not Nick. And now… I still can't move on. I came home...
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Feeling Done
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I feel like I'm sinking down into quicksand. Every day gets progressively worse with the depression and anxiety and...