feeling better but still avoiding things I should be doing ie.. finding a job the recent job lost a month ago has left me low in hope and low in self esteem I have become so lazy and just spend my time watching tv eatting and just plan doing nothing I worked at a factory and feel I was horibly miss treated it is dominately male I now they are very anti female my boss was a major asshole nothing I ever did was good enough I was made to feel stupid on a regular basis of course he has upper manegment in his back pocket as he kisses the right ass I know I must get a job I just am afraid of failure again I do no kiss butt I say what I want and what I feel which doesn’t get me any where.I lost another job 2 yrs ago for something I said to someone my mouth gets me in trouble. I am scared angry and tired of failure. losing my job meant losing my insurance which meant I could no longer aford effexxor so I just stopped taken anything I calle the dr he has put me on Celyxa 2 days ago I am hoping it helps xanax twice a day helps but it isn’t enough by its self. I hate getting out laziness has really set in I know I am in a rut I am over weight somedays I never get out of the sweats I slept in hence no bathing good grief thats bad putting it in words kind of brings it home a little I don.t clean house or do laundy not much anyway I have cooked some but not like you wouldthink someone who has nothing to do would I haven’t thouight of suicide much in the last 2 days not pretaining to me anyway so I guess thats an improvement. I am unhappy in my marriage he really isn’t a bad guy I just am not in love with him we have only been married scince Aug. I know thats just plan nuts……why did I marry him I guess because I thought or think it was or is Gods plan for me, we dated 9 yrs ago and I thought then we were suppose to be together so natuarly when we started dating again after 7 yrs I thought it was God. I am not sure if it is just my out of whack hormones I am in the midst of menopause I haven’t had my monthly for 6 months I have been going through menopause for atleast the last 5 yrs this is the longest I have gone so far they say full on menopause is reached after a year of not having your periods any way thats that being mentaly ill and menopausle isn’t a good combo I have sufered from depression forever well I can look back in my life and realize I was around 12 when I had episodes of depression.I must go wash the weeks worth of dirty dishes now.
-
Damage *may trigger i guess*
sadjac, , Depression, Anger, Obesity, 0
I feel so angry right now, and I feel like I just want to lash out on anyone that...
-
Today
flowermantis, , Depression, Career, Questions, 1
Today I was training the two girls they gave me at work to train in our department.I started the...
-
]=
Tasharrr, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I don’t think I want to be here anymore. I just want to move away somewhere. Away from everyone and...
-
A Wiccan Style of Christianity?
Antheia, , Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Religion, Spirituality, 0
I’m feeling really grateful today. Grateful for my hardworking husband, grateful for our home and our food, grateful that...
-
Who am I? Or rather, what I’m dealing with..
JG2019, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Marriage & Family, Teens, ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Social Anxiety, 0
Greetings, my fellow victors! ( I was going to put fellow strugglers, but we ARE, or Are going to...
-
For my 2 daughters about to become first time mothers..
cgent7, , Depression, 1
~ A Voice From Within ~ From the ethers of the universe I come to you Made...
-
Anger and betrayel.
Liminality, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
Recently, I had the unfortunate experience of losing just about all my friends because of someone else. This...
-
Ashamed
Lost_Bella, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, 1
Well today has been the first time i have thought of hurting myself in a year. I feel so...