Im feeling dumb for missing you and weak i know you never loved me the way i loved you you loved your secrets more and just loved that i armed you to the t with my own secrets the same ones you shot me down with and threw in my face So why oh why do i miss you why cant i sleep in my cold bed why am i crying i kept all the messages just to replay when i get weak and want to call you so I can remember why i wanted you gone you thretened my son my boy to take him away from me to cause me strife because i didnt want to do what you want an although i know thats wrong i miss you deeply i want to kiss you i miss your warmth and i wonder if ill ever let any one in my heart again bgut with that i feel shame as to how i let my self fall on love with you knowing how you were hamn im a fool such a fuc*in foolhow could you harass me for weeks then say nothing it was just controll you controlling me to do anything you wanted but i just couldnt see it you liked me when i was sick and sedated cause you knew what i was doing you could watch me and thats sick who keeps there lovers hospital restraints ???? but i know i love you shit i loved you and now i hate my self for ever thinking you changed i left you ten years ago i should have never picked you up 8 months ago and i wouldnt be feeling this way now but i know what i gave was and is real ans as long as i hold tru to being true to the one i love i know karma or whatever makes this world go round will send me the one for me but i am so fuc*ing foolish to ever let you back in i think thats why it hurts so damn much now and the tears salty burning my cheeks will dry and i will find peace again and love will come but now im just angry and foolish and just plain heartbroken and low stupid for beliveing you and your words so fucking dumb i am so fucking dumb ……