I was violated today….im losing my Ohio boy for telling him…. and im losing myself……. i dont want to lose him……. i dont want to lose me… i don't want to be violated any more….. why couldnt i have just spoken up tonight? would that have changed things for Ohio boy…… I love him… I know he's too far away, but I was hoping it'd work out… Stupid I know…. before i hung up he said that this doesnt chagne how feeels… he sitll loves me… Then he said its not fair to keep us in a relationship when we're physciacally too far away and he kept saying it not fair. He asked me if because of us being in a relationship if this might have been heightened because of that… He asked me if we should take things down. Was he asking me this? or was he trying to imply that we should… I feel like a complete burden to him now. I shouldn't have told him… i guess… i dont know what to say…. i love my Ohio boy… I feel like hes helping in my life…. but as of tongiht… hearing what he had to say… I feel like im his stressor… this waste in his life that he needs to get rid of…. I wish I could end up with him… Honestly talking to him, I feel like hes the one… I know thats stupid… I just feel this connection that I don't want to lose.. And I don't think I could go a day without… I can't stop crying. I want the tears to stop. I need the tears to stop. I need the pain in my body to stop. I need to stop feeling. I need to stop everything…. I just want to forget feelings and life and move on….. It happened again…. And this is what I feel… but I am going to keep trudging forward… I don't know how…. But I am going too……
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“What hunts you both is fear”
thebadkitty, , Depression, Anxiety, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 0
I am really tired, and wide awake. I need to detox my diet, as well, I think. I feel...
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Tired of all the crap
jasper, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, 0
Right now I am scared for my safety, I am sat thinking about the meds that are in the...
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Going up?
Brokenboy8778, , Depression, Relationships, Religion, 0
Its day again. It started out well, my friend/neighbor came by to ask me to go skateboard at Burnside...
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Untitled
MJDoe, , Depression, Career, Relationships, 0
I hate this feeling I always get…I don't know why I have to be like this. My boyfriend got...
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Jibber jabber jibberish
sadjac, , Depression, Addiction, Sleep Disorders, 0
Tuesdays.. I like Tuesdays. I have no classes on Tuesdays. Well I got well and truely hammerd last night....
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Its silly but It's still how I feel.
tinyrachie, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapist, 0
Ok so I don't really want a response to this. Its more of an outlet type of blog. I...
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My dog was hit by a car a few days ago
skyflyer1263, , Depression, Career, Depression, Stress, 2
He has a fractured ankle and a gruesome wound that the vet has to clean and rebandage every few...
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I’m Useless
OrangeTree, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Religion, Sleep Disorders, 0
If you serve no purpose to other people, do you have the right to exist? Ideally the answer is...
ask him if you can keep talking as friends, if it is meant to be the friendship will keep on a blossum into something more
hugs to you