I was violated today….im losing my Ohio boy for telling him…. and im losing myself……. i dont want to lose him……. i dont want to lose me… i don't want to be violated any more….. why couldnt i have just spoken up tonight? would that have changed things for Ohio boy…… I love him… I know he's too far away, but I was hoping it'd work out… Stupid I know…. before i hung up he said that this doesnt chagne how feeels… he sitll loves me… Then he said its not fair to keep us in a relationship when we're physciacally too far away and he kept saying it not fair. He asked me if because of us being in a relationship if this might have been heightened because of that… He asked me if we should take things down. Was he asking me this? or was he trying to imply that we should… I feel like a complete burden to him now. I shouldn't have told him… i guess… i dont know what to say…. i love my Ohio boy… I feel like hes helping in my life…. but as of tongiht… hearing what he had to say… I feel like im his stressor… this waste in his life that he needs to get rid of…. I wish I could end up with him… Honestly talking to him, I feel like hes the one… I know thats stupid… I just feel this connection that I don't want to lose.. And I don't think I could go a day without… I can't stop crying. I want the tears to stop. I need the tears to stop. I need the pain in my body to stop. I need to stop feeling. I need to stop everything…. I just want to forget feelings and life and move on….. It happened again…. And this is what I feel… but I am going to keep trudging forward… I don't know how…. But I am going too……
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Kiss Of Death
brighteyes91, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Grief, 0
One day she’ll come for me I’ll probably call for her on my knees She’ll catch my tears Silence...
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Auguries of Innocence–William Blake
xillah, , Depression, Anger, Child, Depression, Gambling, Grief, Obesity, Religion, 0
To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in...
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The Life of Shakila Reed
Shakilareed90, , Depression, Child, Depression, Suicide, 0
I really do not expect anyone to read what I have to say or even care that i have...
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Codependence Day
OopsDoomed, , Depression, Child, Personality Disorder, Relationships, 0
I was born specifically to bear young, dozens of them if not hundreds, this is my biological purpose, the...
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Final ending . Suicide ?
becauseiloveeyou, , Depression, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Relationships, Suicide, 0
I know that I have disappeared for several months & I didn't feel like going back here. But I've...
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Visit to Family Results in Depression – A Recurring Pattern
lonelyjane, , Depression, Addiction, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, 1
A few days ago I returned from a trip to visit family in the province east of me. As...
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Charged up!
azmera, , Depression, Obesity, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 2
woke up this morning unwilling to face the day, cat were fighting on my chest, husbands 13year old mutt...
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It’s Only a Feeling, Right?
mgjr, , Depression, Depression, 0
I’m living a quiet life in which less and less happens as a large implacable reality of depression begins...
ask him if you can keep talking as friends, if it is meant to be the friendship will keep on a blossum into something more
hugs to you