It was done. I had messed everything up. I was never the poster child every parent forces you to try to be, no I wasn’t that child and I wasn’t going to be. I was just me. A girl who didn’t have a dad and probably was never going to have one. I have no idea why I acted out so much when I was younger it was stupid. It only hurt my mom. Yeah I got in trouble but at least my mom was paying attention to me. Maybe that was it maybe that was why I acted out. Maybe I acted out because I felt unloved. For as long as I can remember I was never a priority to my mother it was always about Cody.. Cody a name I soon grew to hate. She never wanted to spend time with me. I spent countless hours working on small little things for my mom but it was never enough. But I couldn’t ever completely hate Cody, he was the closest thing to a father I had. I knew he was only there for my mom but I guess a little bit of me hoped he had loved me. I got older. More and more time went on. I lost hope. I was now seven. My sister was born. When she was first born I hated her. She got everything. She got all of the love, she got all the time, she even got the prettier name. All I could think about is how she stole the love I worked so hard for. She made life hard very very hard. Fast forward to the start of 6th grade. I finally had hope in something more than my mother and Cody. I had hope for the understanding of true friendship. My very first few friends consisted of: Tristan, she was a dork and I loved her, Nate, he is just a weirdo, he was my best friend, JJ, he had a dark sense of humor, and there’s Tobais, I had feelings for him and he knew. I never understood why he hung out with us..he was way cooler than any of us.
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I am completely overwhelmed. I am tired.
Dayisdone, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, ADHD, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Stress, Suicide, Therapy, 0
In a few days it will be my birthday I will be 47. I’ve been asking for help in...
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Diary of an escort
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It all started when my partner and I moved interstate so he could attend university. He found a night...
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The Reason Why I don’t care for Xmas season
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My least favorite time of the year is here. The unpleasant and deadly (allergy) for me spice smell...
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Life advice?
perplepinto, , Anxiety, Marriage & Family, Teens, Anxiety, Relationships, 2
So I am a college student living at home until the pandemic dies down and I am able to...
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i want to die(again)
Aquazium, , Depression, Marriage & Family, Uncategorized, Psychosis, 0
no one cares and i’m so crazy and psychotic was throwing flares, said i was fine and they bought...
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Pt 11 When you need help and they turn you away ..my car again
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Driving home from work. My fuel pump went out. Another 1200 and 300 tow and another loss of work. ...
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Doubt
goldygoldy, , Depression, Marriage & Family, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships, 1
What if she says no? What if it’s too late? What if she doesn’t believe me? What if she’s...
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Another year
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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOT! I am SO glad that year is over. This year will be great. It has...