It has been a day or two since I wrote about my relationship with my parents deteriorating, and things have taken a slight turn for the better.

My dad tried to confront me about how I’m not talking to my mom and went on about me being ungrateful for everything she has done for me. I couldn’t just let him yell at me about me being ungrateful and telling me how he’s “heard me speak disrespectfully back to my mother.” I asked for DIRECT evidence of it, and he couldn’t give me a SINGLE EXAMPLE. While I am not denying that I have spoken to her disrespectfully before, I have spoken to her respectfully and responded equally so so she wouldn’t start a fight with me.

Then I snapped. I spilled everything that I had been through, being called pathetic, a dumba**, and lazy when all I have ever done is work hard to apease my parent’s goals for me, and then crying for 4 days straight because I felt like a failure as a child.  Then he just looked at me. He came and hugged me, then apologized for what I had been through. I did too out of impulse, because of all the stress I caused them about their relationships with me. In my mind, though, I knew this wasn’t going to last long since he always eventually took my mom’s side and matched her hostile energy towards me, but I enjoyed it for that moment.

My mom also talked to me yesterday and tried to tell me she was going to send my schedule to the college I really wanted to go to (as if I hadn’t asked her to do it 2 weeks previous) and make me think she was doing charity work for me or something. I stopped her right in her tracks and told her I could do it myself.  I think she feels some type of way when she does things for me, because it always comes back when I don’t do something miniscule she tells me to. “Oh well I do x, y, and z for you and you can’t even do this when I ask you?”

I get this in part because she deserves some sort of respect of her time from me too, but don’t say “you don’t have to pay me back” or “I do it because I love you” and then do stuff like that that DIRECTLY contradicts BOTH those statements.