I’m not sure really what I want to put here. I’m almost just killing time before my Therapist appointment. So what’s new to me besides trying new medication that is prescribed by a doctor, is the fact that I haven’t used illegal drugs to try to cope with any of life’s curveballs for 158 days now; and I have made a goal. Staying clean is the easy part for me now, its trying not to reinstate the addict behaviors that’s tricky. Trying not to obsess over anything and let it just happen the way it should happen. I’ve set a goal to buy a sailboat that I can live on, and now I’m just trying not to jump on the goal asap just because “I want it and I want it NOW” as I’ve always done before. I need to let myself have time to find the right boat for me and its not going to happen overnight. I’ve never had a goal before and its odd to me. What’s ever odder is when my sponsor asks if “I’ve prayed on it?” I don’t know what that’s going to do. I’ve never really prayed and when I think of praying it seems petty to me. Like asking for something because I think I deserve it? Or asking a higher power for help as if they have nothing better to do then help? I will eventually maybe try it but it just feels arrogant in a way to me. I don’t know maybe I’m bitter for all the times I haven’t won the lottery! Anyway I have a goal and I will accomplish it, just not right now.
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Let's take a journey
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Questions, Sex Therapy, Spirituality, Suicide, 0
Sent to me by another Recovering Addict. hope you get what i did out of it. NA hugs, JJ...
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Hold my breath
chunckywannabcurvy, , Depression, Anger, Career, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 0
Angry and Fed up that is what i am feeling right now. I have had such a wave of...
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Living In The Moment
Proanamia, , Depression, Weight Loss, 1
Since I got out of the hospital, I can honestly say that I have been doing SO much better....
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A quiet couple days and surprising behavior.
Aerii, , Anxiety, Anxiety, 4
So I haven't worked since saturday, I had a migrane from hell for 3 days so it was pretty...
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Topsy turvy
sadjac, , Depression, Weight Loss, 0
All in all, its been quite a topsy turvy week. Filled mostly with more and more school work. I...
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Awakened again !!
meorak, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, 0
Well brief sum up of stuff. Had transient ischaemic attack 15 years ago, brain bleed . Was 32 and...
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Recovery Prayer
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Spirituality, 0
Just wanted to share this Fellowship prayer… (Author Unknown to me, if someone knows, let me know…) ...
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I think I''m losing it…
Unique_person, , Depression, Anger, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 1
I’m having nightmares as of late… Really weird nightmares. I don’t like to sleep in the first place, but...