The cool morning air was damp as per usual. Seems that the rain has chosen this place to dwell. Each and every day the wind blows & the rain falls. Yay for the grasses & trees. I say, BLAH! I dont know why I choose one particular spot to hover every morning. But, I do.. every single day I waddle my way out the door and stand there.. in my spot. Some mornings the neighbors wave, others they stare with their curious eyes. I cant imagine what it must look like as they venture out into the *REAL* world. I wonder if any of them feel guilty for leaving me behind time and time again. I wonder what their assumptions are. I suppose there is the chance none of them even notice enough to care. But I have hope for humanity. lol Today will be another long & quiet one. My other half has to work long hours & into the night. Which leaves me to suffer in silence. Something I am getting better at. I thought it might be nice to get out. Perhaps see a movie or something. But the only flick I desire to see is showing at the mall & is a bit far out of my comfort zone. Yeah, I have issues with cars, people, light and dark.. oh hell, I have issues. Ive wracked my brain for the past hour attempting to scrounge at least ONE name I could call. ONE person I could invite to accompany me. Well, there is one, but complications with scheduling and family make it impossible. So, I scrounge for more options. Yet, there arent any. It seems that most people I know, dont consider my company much. Its just the fact of the matter. Im used to it. So, here I sit… wondering if I should test myself and possibly force a solo outing in the night? I will battle with this.. the entire day. And in the end… there is no telling what other issues will be in play. Time for another outing to my *spot*. Perhaps the rain will stop and allow me a few extra moments outside these walls. New medication coming soon… Im hopeful. I think.

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