The cool morning air was damp as per usual. Seems that the rain has chosen this place to dwell. Each and every day the wind blows & the rain falls. Yay for the grasses & trees. I say, BLAH! I dont know why I choose one particular spot to hover every morning. But, I do.. every single day I waddle my way out the door and stand there.. in my spot. Some mornings the neighbors wave, others they stare with their curious eyes. I cant imagine what it must look like as they venture out into the *REAL* world. I wonder if any of them feel guilty for leaving me behind time and time again. I wonder what their assumptions are. I suppose there is the chance none of them even notice enough to care. But I have hope for humanity. lol Today will be another long & quiet one. My other half has to work long hours & into the night. Which leaves me to suffer in silence. Something I am getting better at. I thought it might be nice to get out. Perhaps see a movie or something. But the only flick I desire to see is showing at the mall & is a bit far out of my comfort zone. Yeah, I have issues with cars, people, light and dark.. oh hell, I have issues. Ive wracked my brain for the past hour attempting to scrounge at least ONE name I could call. ONE person I could invite to accompany me. Well, there is one, but complications with scheduling and family make it impossible. So, I scrounge for more options. Yet, there arent any. It seems that most people I know, dont consider my company much. Its just the fact of the matter. Im used to it. So, here I sit… wondering if I should test myself and possibly force a solo outing in the night? I will battle with this.. the entire day. And in the end… there is no telling what other issues will be in play. Time for another outing to my *spot*. Perhaps the rain will stop and allow me a few extra moments outside these walls. New medication coming soon… Im hopeful. I think.
-
barely holding on…
delane1, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Anxiety, Grief, Relationships, 4
*sigh i knew this was going to be a tough time for me, but i had no idea the...
-
Something bad
redhead20, , Depression, Career, Medication, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, 0
Something bad happened friday night. I’m not sure I want to go into details, I feel humiliated enough, but...
-
Another day at my son’s school…
Mz_Unda_Std, , Depression, ADHD, 0
Well we had a meeting with all the admin. team the school has, Phyc, teacher, principal,RSP teacher and another...
-
Down
Evelove0, , Depression, Child, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, 1
Sometimes I feel like no matter how far I’ve come I will always go back to this darkness. I...
-
Smile
XxHarleyBlackxX, , Depression, Anger, Forgiveness, 0
The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest....
-
Why I do what I do
Lauren1208, , Depression, Anxiety, Questions, 0
I love helping people who are not in a good place because it gives me an opportunity to step...
-
I CAN BE SO STUPID
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
God, I make myself sick, sometimes. I try not to be needy, and I feel like I have taken...
-
Scuicide Poem
MoraTheKat, , Depression, Parenting, 0
One demolished life Agony and turmoil Impressions on a broken heart He lives there In the shattered remnants There...