I have been diagnosed with MAJOR depression since i was in the 6th grade. I am now 16.When I tell people this, they are shocked. Its most likely because I admittedly do not look like the girls on Tumblr or in crappy young adult movies who has dyed hair and wears plaid and has something very obvious pierced. Though, those girls are just as valid as I am in my apparent sadness, I am admittedly a tad less obvious. I have made this because my shrink says I need to express my feelings to people such as “your friends or family”.  As helpful as that is, my (ex)best friend and I  had a major falling out. The reasons don’t matter now and we just weren’t good together (AKA yes i blame her she was unhealthy af). And with her went some of my closest friends. The worst part? I am not a loner. Oh no I am considered ‘popular’ and do have a lot of  ‘friends’ but we aren’t close and now that summer is here I am lonely and I’m bad again. So, what now? I have no idea. Isolation is nightmarish and I hang out with my 65 year old grandpa almost all the time. What can be expected of this little blog? Things I think and do and want to do. Lists and theories. It’s like a public diary. I’m publishing this here because I’m aware little people will see it and maybe that brings me comfort. And maybe if you do see this you may feel a little less weird or alone or anyone of those wonderful feelings that come with this dull mental illness. This won’t be a self pity party but i will express my frustration AT pity received when my brain comes up in a casual conversation. So its a big ol’ plate of nutty with a dash of pity on the side.