I am tired, scared and feel my world is about to blow up Again.  My work schedule is Fri-Sat-Sun and I work 12 hour days.  This past week our computer systems were being upgraded so instead of working my normal job I had to work in 2 very physical jobs in our warehouse and it just about killed me.  I work for a Major retailer the largest one in fact in the US.  When I got home Sunday nite I was just exhausted.  I work in a Distribution Center for the .com division and had to work in our receiving and packing areas.  They are both very physically demanding jobs.  I dont mind having to do it ocassionally but to work them for 3 days straight and a 12 hour shift which requires you to be on your feet, well it just about killed me.  Literally.  They just informed all of us that we are now required to produce 85% of our quotas up from 80%…And I am not sure I can do it.  I just started being able to produce my 80% and now I have to push myself to go another 5..I have already been coached about my productivity this past week and I am afraid of loosing my job which would be catostrophic to my life.  I dont have anyone that would take me in.  I am so alone and feel so depressed…I am an empty shell of who I use to be.  I dont enjoy anything anymore and know I need to find a dr but dont even have the energy to do that. 

Please pray for me -I am feeling desperate and just want things to end.  I hate being alone and its been 10 years since I have enjoyed the company of someone.  I feel as tho I will never be truly happy.  I use to think I had something to offer but I dont anymore.  Life is so hard for me.  I really dont want to go on. 


1 Comment
  1. thebadkitty 14 years ago

    Hang on – if we are good to ourselves, and kind to ourselves, things do get better.  And, as far as being without the company of another – I know, it sucks, but do you really put yourself out there?  Sometimes we fret over being alone when we”re really not creating situations where we might find someone.  And, as far as your job goes – you”ll do your best.  That”s all you can possibly do, so, there”s really no reason to worry.  There”s nothing you can do to improve this situation, other than what you already inntend to do – so try not to fixate.  (I know, much easier said than done, but the effort alone can help – we can influence our thoughts more often than we realize).

    Remember – feed your soul, any way you can.  And, never forget – you are valued, and you are needed.  Just hang in.  You”ll be in my prayers.
    – Kit

    0 kudos

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