Hey hope everyone is doing well. I just feel like blogging. It is 1am and I cannot sleep. Been spiking all day. I have my midterms next week been studying all day and watching Buffy (lol). When I get stressed my anxiety and intrusive thoughts go into over drive. I have a huge accounting test on Monday. I love accounting and its my major its just soo much to remember and I cannot fit much more in my head with all this crazy sh*t up there (lol its mostly song lyrics and movie quotes). I saw some friends yesterday it was fun but my one friend completely called me out for being a hermit. I did not want to go, I tried to get out of it, using midterms as an exuse she is persistent. I hate going out because the next few days afterwards I just feel like crap about having intrusive thoughts about EVERYTHING. The latest is meat. I gained 18 pounds on my meds. I stopped taking them I just couldn't handle the side effects (weight gain, hair loss, blah blah) and I decided to start a low carb diet which is a lot of meat and vegetables. It is going really good but meat is freaking me out. I cannot handle if its left out or if it gets cooked and then is left out or if its under cooked. I use to eat steak cooked raw and now i just think im going to get worms and die. I ate bacon last week, convinced myself it was undercooked and proceeded to vomit it all up from thinking about it so much.Gross I know, also very annoying. Plus just the random messed up thoughts with everything gets me down. Anyways I hope you guys are doing well have a nice rest of your weekend/week.