Hey hope everyone is doing well. I just feel like blogging. It is 1am and I cannot sleep. Been spiking all day. I have my midterms next week been studying all day and watching Buffy (lol). When I get stressed my anxiety and intrusive thoughts go into over drive. I have a huge accounting test on Monday. I love accounting and its my major its just soo much to remember and I cannot fit much more in my head with all this crazy sh*t up there (lol its mostly song lyrics and movie quotes). I saw some friends yesterday it was fun but my one friend completely called me out for being a hermit. I did not want to go, I tried to get out of it, using midterms as an exuse she is persistent. I hate going out because the next few days afterwards I just feel like crap about having intrusive thoughts about EVERYTHING. The latest is meat. I gained 18 pounds on my meds. I stopped taking them I just couldn't handle the side effects (weight gain, hair loss, blah blah) and I decided to start a low carb diet which is a lot of meat and vegetables. It is going really good but meat is freaking me out. I cannot handle if its left out or if it gets cooked and then is left out or if its under cooked. I use to eat steak cooked raw and now i just think im going to get worms and die. I ate bacon last week, convinced myself it was undercooked and proceeded to vomit it all up from thinking about it so much.Gross I know, also very annoying. Plus just the random messed up thoughts with everything gets me down. Anyways I hope you guys are doing well have a nice rest of your weekend/week.

2 Comments
  1. telknit23 8 years ago

    Song lyrics and movie quotes. lol….at least it makes you sound cultured.  Hundreds of commercials  from the 60s and 70s  are crowding intelligent thought out of my head. \"\" 

    Aside from freaking out about the meat (I can SO relate), how is the diet treating you?  And what med made your hair fall out? 

    Good luck on your midterms.

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  2. laurzaffle 8 years ago

    Divaplorex I think that's the generic name. Made my hair fall out soo bad.the diets good lost 9 lbs still 9 to go. Thank you for the comment!

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