Just when you say okay getting out of bed and take a shower for my husband. I get a text that sounds great. Umm, what are you talking about .?? Then all of sudden busy got to go. I just want so bad to just destroy the whole beat up some trees. Pillows do nothing for me. I was just thinking how I felt sorry for him having to put up with me. I said you have a good husband. My heart is about pop out of my chest and never come back. I am just playing a role in same story just different characters. Unfortunate , I am the lead character so have to stay in. I am so sick and tired of pretending —oh everything is okay just feel bad today it must be my allergies. I AM SO MAD AND HURT ATTHE SAME TIME. I CAN NOT STAND SOMEONE HAVING THE UPPER HAND ON ME. PLEASE HANG INTHERE WHY?? Oh, I forgot more pain to me. Take your medication, you are just being negative. Well that line is getting OLD. just knock me back down. Oh yes, give me something for that too. I am still able to think We can't have that now, can we????? I am almost a pill head why not tell dr I need more. I have an idea give me something that I can just see butterflies, rainbows,flowers and then I shall be happy. Well, we can't do that you will be too happy and that would just be too good for you. I know I am not alone–as I hear all the time. But guess what husband. You should see me as only one too you. Not the first timer , so why why am I upset. I am a selfish no good thing on earth.

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