So I woke up today feeling really good about me…I went to a meeting yesterday, went to therepy and Area.  After that I hung with some of my friends in recovery…I didn't act out on my feelings of loneliness by taking a hostage and that is growth…I am making plans to go to my moms this weekend with the kids.  Yeah…

My therepist suggests that I keep a journal, which is funny because I guess this is part of that process.  I figure all I have is my experience, strength and hope…and if I put it up where someone may identify then I am helping with the 5th tradition. 

Ok so, here I go….I am afraid of a lot of things, and one of those things is being alone…I am starting to look back on the patterns that were set up in my life which I was powerless to change because I didn't know any other way.  And because of the first step I realize that in my ignorance I am powerless to do anything about it.  Then there is this really cool suggestion that I decided to take….don't stop at step one…keep going and with that I found that I do have the power to change with the help of my HP…Wow what a concept…

I don't have to be alone today…I can make healthy choices and put people in my life that don't want to take without giving, or love with expectations…

So yes I am single (by choice), but I am not using….and I am on the road to God's will…and it definitely has its peaks and valleys but by sharing with others, my sponsor and God…I can change.  And I can feel my feelings without becoming them…or using over them…or taking a hostage over them….

Alot of people will say that God is good all the time, well I say cake is good all the time  God is great….

 Thanks for letting me share…




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