I Know Nothing About OCD Except For What I Read On The On-Line, Symptoms, And Whatever People Write In Blogs, Or Chat Rooms Or Just What Evers On Line. I've Never Seen A Doctor About Depression, Or Having OCD, The OCD I Just Recently Found Out Anyways. If I Have Depression, I Have Always Been Afraid If I Saw A Physcotrist, Or Therapist, They Would Send Me To The Looney Bin. The Reason Why I Joined This Blog/Chat Room Is Because I Wanted To Know What You Guys Think… Anyways Let Me Get To The Point… About A Year, And 1 Month Ago, My Husband Lost His Cell Phone, (I Am A Very Sentimental Person When It Comes To Pictures!!! I Love And Cherish My Pictures!!!) And There Is Just So Many Things That I Could Have Done That Day To Prevent This All From Hurting Or Affecting Us The Way It Is Now. I Was Going To Change The Memory Card, But I Didn't, I Was Going To Take My Husband's Phone From Him, And Put It In My Purse. I Was Going Change The Memory Card In A Restaurant That We Went To… And What Sucks Even More Is The Phone Was Lost Right Were We Were Sitting, Only If We Would Have Look Harder… We Were Drinking, And We Had Quit A Lot To Drink So When He Found Out He Lost It I Panicked, And Told Him To Go Look Everywhere Where We Were. When He Sat Down We Both Heard A Noise, And We Both Even Said What Was That. We Both Let The Phone Slip Right Though Our Fingers. It Was Something Simple As The Phone Being In Between The 2 Chairs. I Texted, And I Call That Phone Probably Close To 100 Times, Whoever Found It, Took It And Stold, It The Never Turned It In. We Lost 12-13 Years Worth Of Pictures. All The Pictures My Husband Had Ever Took In His Whole Life Gone. I Offered $250.00 For The Phone, And I Offered 250.00 Just For The Memory Card, Begging, And Pleading Just To Give Us Our Memory Card. They Could Have The Phone No Questions Asked. About A Month Later A Get A Text, And It Says I Would Like To Return A Memory Card You Lost Send Me Your Address… I Had So Much Hope, That These Were Truly The Right People, And They Were Trying To Do The Right Thing. My Friend Told Me To Try Calling Them, And Seeing If They Would Want To Meet Me, Which I Knew If They Stold The Phone, There Not Going To Want To Meet Me. I Called, And No One Answer, I Had Just Left My Address. I Wish I Had Never Called Though, Because Maybe If They Were Really The People They Might Have Sent The Disk, Or Memory Card. ***I Don't Know If Someone Was Playing A Prank On Me, Or If It Was Really The People That Had Stolen My Husband's Phone, BUT HOW COULD YOU BE SO EVIL TO DO THAT TO SOMEONE?!?!?*** I Feel Like Everything Is Just My Fault, Because If I Never Never Bought The Tickets The Kings Game, If I Never Grabbed The 1st Beers, If I Would Have Just Changed His Damn Memory Card, If I Would Have Just Took His Damn Cell Phone And Put It In My Purse, If I Would Have Just Change The Damn Disk In The Restaurant Like I Was Going To. All These Things, Then I Felt Like I Didn't Try Hard Enough To Get The Phone Or Disk Back, Because I could Have Text These People To Just Please Leave The Memory Card Where We Were At Guest Service, Because I Work There. My Mind Didn't Clear Up Until, About Recently… I Though Of So Many Things I Could Have, And Should Of, And Would Of Done. Both Me And My Husband Hurt From This, But more So Me… There's Days Where I Feel O.k., And Then There's Days Like Today Where I Am Just Constantly Harping, Dwelling, And Hating My-Self For What Happened. My Husband Never Blamed Me, And He Knows It Was His Fault, Because Of The Way He Clipped The Phone To His Pocket… Long Story Short He Had Clipped The Phone Outside Of His Right Pocket, And He Plopped Down In To The Chair He Sat In, And When He Did That The Phone Came Off His Pants, And Fell In Between The Seats. The Only Thing He Keeps Telling Me Is That I Wish You Would Have Changed The Memories Card. Everyone Keeps Telling Me To Move On, Make New Memory's, But In All Reality You Can Never Replace Those Memories. No Mater How We Try We Can Never Recreate Those Same Memories. Of All This I Just Can't Believe Or Understand How Anyone Can Be So Evil, And Cruel As To Steal Someone's Phone, And With Them Beginning And Pleading That All They Want Is There Memory Card, And I Even Put That My Husband Was Heart Broken, And That's All We Wanted Was The Memory Card. Then For That Person The Text Me They Were Going To Mail It To Me. I Mean How Evil Can You Be Or Get? My Husband, And I Are On A Very Rocky Boat Now… We Love Each Other So Much, But It's Very Hard Not To Blame Him Either For What Happened. When He Had His Older Phone I Had Told Him To Clip The Phone Inside His Pocket, So I Expected Him To Do It With This One, Nope… I Even Remember Seeing Him With It Clipped Outside Of His Pocket, And Wanting To Say Something, But I Didn't. This Whole Thing Has Been Very Difficult On Both Me, And Him, But Me More So Then Anything. I've Been So Depressed, And There Were Times Where I Was So Depressed I Wished That I Was Dead… I've Has So Many Things Happen To Me Over The Years That One Bad Thing Replaces The Other. It's Like Become A Trend For Bad Things To Happen To Me, Sometimes I Wonder How I Haven't Gone Insane Yet. But Of Everything That Has Happened I Don't Know How To Move On, Or Get Passed This Problem Of Losing A Cell Phone, And Blaming My-Self For Could Of, Should Of, Would Of. I'm Not Even Sure If What I Have Is OCD, But I Believe That Is What I Have Along With Depression, And Bipolar Disorder… From All You Guys I Just Want To Know If What I Keep Experiencing Is OCD. If You Have Any Question, Or Advance Please Reply Back Or Write Me A Private Message, And Thank-You So Very Much To Everyone That Has Read This, Helped Me With My Problem.
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So to begin with, as was said by Unknowable, I am not qualified to give you a diagnosis, that being said I am in the mental health field of sorts, I'm a Child and Youth Worker, so I am trained in matters of Mental Health and am fairly versed in the current DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders). Now to begin with, your focus on this certain situation with the phone is a bit of a red flag to me. You are very focused on this incident that happened a year ago with the phone, you seem overly obsessed on it, on what you could've done to prevent it and what your husband could've done to prevent it, this is most definitely an obsessive quality. As well you seem to be catastrophizing the situation, not to downplay the situation I understand sentiment, but this incident has become something bigger than it is which is also a red flag. Also you have typed every word with a capital letter, I would have to analyze more of your writing and find out, if you do not use a capital letter with every word do you feel anxious? in which case I would consider it a compulsion.
Now all of that being said, I remind you that I cannot diagnose you but let me say this. You need to seek assistance, find a therapist, psychologist, your doctor, or go to the hospital. I will tell you that they will not force you to stay in the psychiatric ward unless you tell them you are having suicidal or homicidal thoughts, they will only commit you if you are deemed "a threat to yourself or others" which does not seemt to be the case for you. If you do not have those thoughts, a crisis worker at the hospital may suggest or recommend that you stay in the psychiatric ward but that would be completely on a volunteer basis in which case you could leave when you want to. You need to seek assistance for your sake and your husband's sake. It will bring you clarity and I know for many people once they recieve a diagnosis it can bring them a sense of peace. I spent a few months in a psychiatric ward, I will not lie say it is not difficult, scary, or strange, because it was. However, I value that time I spent there it is a tool I can use to relate to people and help them, when I was there I felt safe and it gave me time to sort through everything going on in my head, I was able to come to peace with some things going on in my life and I truly believe that had I not got myself in there I would be dead. So take from that what you will, but please seek help for your sake. Peace and blessings to you.