Well, after poking around on here some, I have some more things to admit, confess, or whatever…it's amazing just where or how many places this OCD thing really affects one!

I remember in childhood, lying in bed, and looking at the cracks in the plaster in the ceiling, tracing them with my eyes, and "making shapes" etc, out of them. I also have become aware of just how often I count ceiling tiles, look for repetitive patterns on them, etc., and the same with floor tiles!!! This is just amazing!

Even when walking down my hallway outside my apartment, I find myself sort of stepping only on the tiles that have the pattern going horizontally, rather than vertically (they are alternated, if you know what I mean…one goes this way, and the next goes that way…etc.)….Now, I am wondering just how long this type of thing has been going on with me!

There are times when I suddenly become aware that I am "counting" things…and, I guess this is quite common also with "us"…. I am finding all this very weird, and in some ways uncomfortable, as I see it as a "stupid" (although somehow "unaware/unstoppable" type thing) that makes NO sense, and wastes energy, and otherwise disrupts what could better be used as "thought effort" or "healthy, constructive, brain-use". Does this make any sense at all, or am I just "off my rocker", Talking Through My Hat?

I also find myself looking at things like the letter "e" on pages of print and in books, etc., and looking at the "pattern" of them on the page…of course, every page has a different pattern as they are distributed differently….I look at woodgrain repeats on paneling, etc. I also am able to "pick out" four leaf clovers readily and easily, because I apparently "see" the disrupted pattern of "three" leaves so readily……

I was an offset stripper for printing all my life, which relates to today's computer graphics. In order to do this job, one needed a certain kind of "tunnel" vision, and this certainly played right into the OCD kind of thing…being able to absolutely single out everything around me, and just concentrate on what I needed to be doing to this job that I was currently working on perhaps as far ahead as tomorrow, while my hands were doing what I was currently performing… This level of insight or whatever, (seeing individual needles on the pine trees, rather than  the tree, or certainly not the forest, was constantly being "honed" or whatever, for all other aspects of my life, I seem to feel now that the job, while it earned me a TON of money, was, indeed, perhaps a big detriment to me, and caused more of this behavior than I might otherwise have had.

I am wondering if there are perhaps counseling groups, or if it might be possible/practical to try to start some kind of a group, where people could get together on some kind of regular basis and talk together about themselves, their "tics" or whatever, and support each other in that way, also, as well as here on this site.

Has anyone been affiliated with or a member of a group such as this? I would think personal interaction would be very good in helping us with becoming more aware, and aiding in our "treating" or helping ourselves. I already get it, that it is us, ourselves, who must work through this and "re-learn" or "re-think" around this stuff/these things, and slowly de-program ourselves from this/these behavior(s)

So, folks, read this over, and please comment back to me and let me know what your thoughts are, and if I am even close to right here or not in my thoughts/observations, and where I might logically turn, or try, to further help myself.

Thanks, All, for your interest and support…

~G