Today was an interesting day, which started out very poorly with me almost yelling at my boss. I knew that this day would eventually come of course only because I have trouble being at work without feeling panicky because I see everything as my fault. I realize logically it isn’t but I still think it is. Today there was an order put in and there was a question about an order and the fact that we didn’t have the stuff in stock and it was a rush. I let them know that with this type of stuff is something the sales people need to check on as I can’t check on stuff for rushes. I could do this but I don’t have time in my day to babysit people that are are 20+ years older then me. I told my boss this that I can’t spend all my time watching them and doing their work as I have so much else to do that I don’t have the time. She looked me in the eye and told me I should be doing my job better and that the two of us (me and the employee that brought the question about the rush to me) that we should be doing our jobs better. You know those moments you start shaking with rage and hatred, this was one of them.
That was kind of the last straw for me as I love this job. I mean what sane job lets you have Rubber Band Friday where you wail on your co-workers? I get paid to do this for no less then a half an hour. Plus you know I get money and health insurance but for me it really is about the rubber bands.
So instead of letting this fester all day which is my usual MO I went and talked to HR. I really didn’t want to have to tell people about my OCD and that my boss is treating me this way but after I wrote that angry letter to my friend it dawned on me. No one is going to realize I am struggling if I don’t say anything. It sucked and ya I cried because it’s hard to admit to anyone. She was very understanding though and gave me some hints on how to deal with my boss but said I should take a week and right down what I want to say and my boss, her and I will go into the conference room and we will work it out. She even offered to look over what I want to say to my boss because I’m terrified of getting the wording wrong and making this personal. It is on a level personal as when my boss feels attacked she will take it out on you in a personal way. I’m not that kind of person and I want this to be about the job and how I am having an issue doing mine because she would rather surf facebook then help me.
I’m not sure how this will go and if it will end poorly for me but I do know one thing discriminating against someone with a mental illness is illegal. And since I have gone through all the proper channels on this if she continues to act this way towards me and I can prove it (which I can since I’m not the only one that this happens to) then she will be the one not only in trouble with the company but I’m sure with lawyers.
This was a good day in my book plus I saw the new Transformers movie in 3D and it was awesome. One of the very few things from my childhood that has not been ruined. Thank you Michael Bay you are a freaking rock star.