A/b the fiance’…. He needs more support I think.  I think he should talk to his parents.  It’s not about having the weight of his world on my shoulders, which I do feel like I have right now, it’s about his health.  It would be of his benefit to have his family supporting him now too, but how can they if he won’t tell them?  If he won’t talk to them?  I don’t know what to say to him to help him understand that mothers and fathers worry about their children for their entire lives.  It does not matter what you do, they worry.  It’s their job as a parent to be concerned and guess what?  They have been on this Earth longer than we have so they have more wisdom in some areas and can offer up great advice on certain situations.  Regardless of how scared this makes his mom, he needs to understand that telling people he is okay when he is not okay is only making him worse.  If his ultimate goal is to get better then he truly needs to do all it takes to get better.  Which means telling his mom and dad what is wrong and telling the doctor what has happened this week.  How carefree he has been about his own life.  He needs to talk about himself and get these things out there.  He doesn’t know how badly he and I both need their support.  I cannot do this and keep this from them forever.  I just feel like I am keeping secrets or hiding something which makes me feel guilty and I already feel bad enough about his situation.  I don’t need guilt tacked on to it.  I hope that whatever I decide to do here…. whatever it is… he knows and understands that I am only doing the best that I can and that I am only doing what I feel is best for his health.  I love him so much and as I said in my blogs before, I miss his sweet, beautiful, comforting smile.

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