It has taken me over 20 yrs to get to the place have in my life. Up until now I was living in denial, fear and all sorts of other ways that I can’t begin to describe. It was until Dec. 2003 when my father passed away that I realized something I always knew but never wanted to admit… I was depressed and had been for most of my life. There have been many things that have happened to me but the start of it all was when I was about 4-5 yrs old and something that should never happen to a child happened to me. From then on my life was filled with sadness, bad choices, anger, insecurity, etc. I have had a pretty rough life and it wasn’t until my dad passed that I realized i had to get rid of the cloud that was over my head practically my whole life. I then began a search… a search of the person that I had lost long ago. In order to do that I had to open that closet and dig out those rusty, dusty, decayed skeletons. It was a horrible thing to do but had to do it for myself and for my children who are the witnesses of a shell of a person who is angry and sad all the time. In order for me to spare them of the same fate I had to come clean. I sought help online, looking for help and I found it in some online communities. I was new to the whole online chatting and groups thing and let me tell u I was scared shitless. Even though it was online it was still very intimidating. I had a few bad experiences and left for a short time period. After a while I figure what the hell I’ll give it a go again. I did find an ok community and on the first day of chat I met the person who would help me open up and not be afraid to trust ppl again. We became the best of friends. It’s sounds silly to say a person who lives on the other side of the world is you best friend but it’s true and it can happen. We went through many ups and down but through it all we were there for each other and still are to this day. The community we were a part of came and went and I sought out other communities and eventually found a really good one where I made more friends. I was doing well until things just weren’t helping anymore. I feel into a deep hole of depression that I just couldn’t get out of until I finally did. Since then i have been up and down, so I finally decided to get help. I started seeing a therapist about 2 almost 3 months ago. It’s still taking time to deal with all the big stuff but we’ll get there soon enough. So that’s it in a nutshell. I’d bee here for years if I wrote my life story. lol :tongue: Well thank you for reading and I hope I didn’t ramble to much.


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