I want to cry for a few reasons–one is because a lot of good things happened today. Somehow, I got up early enough to turn on my computer and check the Iditarod stats. I was an hour late to see John Baker get into Nome. But hey, he won! Yay!!! 😀 I was rooting for him. Unfortunately, I didn't see Ramey Smyth come in 2nd, as too many people were trying to view the Nome cam. Anyway, but I was able to check. Then I turned off my computer by 11, then I went and bathed myself–in a rather unconventional way–wash cloth + soap + little bucket filled with hot water. I think it helped me to bathe faster and to not worry so much just doing it differently than usual. Besides, knowing there was a bucket of hot water ready to rinse myself with really helped since I have fears about the hot water running out–especially since the installation of the new water heater that has problems.

Anyway, then I got dressed and was all ready to go when my sister was ready to take me to work. Due to actually getting things done that I wanted to before I left, my anxiety was much lower than it was on Sunday. Pretty good day. Then got home to find that The OCD Workbook had arrived in the mail and I had also gotten a letter from a friend. 🙂

Now to the second reason I want to cry–not so good. I'm glad my book got here, but I'm also scared to death of it. I'm a bibliophile and I'm scared of a book. I don't like being this way, but I'm scared to get better. I don't really know why. And I think maybe I'm afraid to face why it is. But I guess maybe this is a good thing, too–I'm admitting it; that's the first step, right?

2 Comments
  1. Ashling 11 years ago

    ERP is awful. Anyone who tells you otherwise is sugar-coating. But it's 100% worth it. Congratulations on getting the book and taking steps towards getting better. It's always good to take a moment to celebrate such progress ^_^

    We occasionally run out of hot water here and it can still derail my day (prevent me from leaving the house/making it out of my pyjamas) O_o

    The bucket method sounds like an innovative solution. Also, it's traditional in Japan (where you'd have a hot bath waiting for once you were clean… that's always made so much more sense to me than the Western tradition).   

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  2. michaelg 11 years ago

    I find I actually have more anxiety when the water runs out. I feel like I'm not clean enough – but then I take 45min showers. I glad you had a good day! I think somehow when someone has a good day on here it makes my day a little better. Kinda gives me hope towards having a good day, ya know?

     

    Glad to hear your book came in! I'm still struggling with getting it. I have zero time during the semester to run out and get it and this week being spring break, I feel like I should get it now. Still scared though. Scared of what people will think if they see me buying it, scared of if it doesn't work and scared – well just scared in general. There's a reason my avatar is a paranoid bear haha

     

    Hope your good days continue!!! =)

    ~Mike

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