I found this site because I have been looking on youtube all day, videos about social anxiety. I was looking at the videos because my social anxiety has been pretty bad, it was BAD then got better now its getting bad again. Idk why things are getting worse, well I do but I dont know if I'm ready to process the things that I know. My life kinda fell apart on my birthday almost 2 years ago, 12-31-2010. Since then, IDK who I am, or ever was. i cant seem to get it together. I stopped taking my medicine, stopped going to therapy. I'm sure I will talk about that time of my life a lot more later. Lately, I feel crazy and started to stay to myself more and more. my "friends" take advantage of me and i let them. my girlfriend, or whatever you want to call the situation, uses me and plays with my mind. BUT, I wont let her go. My mom…whew my mom…she is on her own downward spiral with her own mental illness. My dad, idk i love him. we have our things we have never dealt with and he keeps almost dying. I have let myself get in deep financial trouble. I dont eat. I sleep too much. I dont do the things I love. I am falling apart, piece by piece. And it scares the shit out of me. No one understands what i go through everyday. I'm so exhausted by trying to hold it all together and of holding other ppl together. I'm exhausted from trying. I have to get back to being on a positive road. I have to go see my therapist ( I see her on monday), see my psychiatrist, start eating, get back to my writing and my business, and start living life. or idk whats going to happen….