A few days ago, I nearly blurted out that I wanted a divorce. It was literally on the tip of my tongue, as cliche as that sounds.

Anger just boiled up in my stomach and I felt for a moment that I could say what I felt without caring about the consequences. Except my son was in the car, and one of us actually cares about not making a scene in front of him. So I bit my tongue because some conversations should never happen in front of your kids. Maybe DH is okay with behaving like an dick-bag in front of our son, but I won’t sink that low.

If someone dares to toot their horn at DH before he’s ready to make his turn, he goes out of his way to make sure that person sees his overblown reaction. It’s fucking ridiculous. HE is fucking ridiculous and I’m tired of being stuck with a man I can’t respect.

He once made obnoxious faces and gestures at a man in a CVS parking lot for not properly concealing the gun he was carrying! He couldn’t understand why I was furious. Our son was in the backseat! If I dare to say something other than praise, he gets shitty.

Tonight, just as I got my son to sleep in the living room, some kids rang our doorbell, trying to sell some kind of bullshit. Instead of just telling the kids “Hey, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ring my doorbell at 9pm” and sending them away, he starts making wild gestures at the window. Naturally this kid continues to stand there, trying to explain what he’s selling and then DH opens the door and starts yelling at them, threatening to call the cops, etc. Big tough guy… 🤦🏻‍♀️ These kids were like 13.

He tells me I never give him any support. Why the fuck would I support his shitty behaviors? Why would I congratulate him on getting drunk every single night and just being a lousy fucking man?

I praise him plenty, but what he remembers is when I call him out on his bullshit.

Now he’s out of his seat every time he thinks he hears a noise because he’s paranoid that the kids will screw with our car now.

I just wish this COVID shit would disappear so I could take my son away. I wish he would have an aneurism and die so I won’t have to deal with sharing custody.