I wake up everyday thinking that I should end it. I don’t have any friends, and I don’t have time for anything but school, and yet I still get C and B, not A’s and that’s what my mom expect from me. I’m trangender and pansexual and nobody knows about the first on expect my sister, and she doesent believe me, what makes me want to tear my skin off. About the fact that I’m pansexual knows my 2 cousins, but I don’t get support from them either. I suffer from autism, depression, OCD, eating disorder, and much more. Also I almost committed suicide once, buty sister saw me just before I was about to jump off the window, and I lied about it, and she doesn’t know. Nothing that I liked before makes me happy now, I cutted myself, and got addicted to it, so now I’m 2 months clean. I told people I trust about it, and they didn’t care at all. The only reason why I’m still on this world is because I don’t want to live my dog behind, cuz he’s EVERYTHING to me. If not he, would be dead. My family is Homofobic, so one I come out to them I will get disowned, and I don’t know what I will do then. I don’t expect anyone to answer me, I just needed somewhere to vent.
I don’t want to live anymore
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Minesota-shū no sekainoowari
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Hey!
I hear the struggle in your words. I can understand your pain. I just wanted to let you know that I see you. I hear you. I see you for the beautiful person that you are. I support you. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. Full of magic moments and unforgettable experiences. I also deal with a homophobic family. They go out of their way to rub in my face that I am their “son” even though I have told them repeatedly I am not. The difference is I am an adult and can easily just shut them out. You can’t and I am so sorry for that. Just keep your head up. You will be able to get free from them soon. As soon as you graduate you can begin your search for authenticity and truth. Until then don’t give up. You have me in your corner. I am rooting for you.
.Josie