For those who don't know, I survived domestic abuse years ago. My ex partner was too good to be true…he was handsome, educated,overly attentive, and affectionate. Flowers and love notes were showered upon me, and I became the center of his universe. Everything was going well until I realized how controlling and possessive he was towards me. He was also arrogant and belittled me…making me feel that he was superior, and much smarter. After hurting my feelings, he appologized and everything returned to normal.
The last day we spent together was the day I nearly died. He was jealous and demanding…so I ended our relationship. As I walked away from him, he attacked me by slapping, punching, kicking, and throwing me down a flight of stairs. I nearly broke my neck. He started slamming my head into the wall as I lay crumpled and bleeding on the floor. I screamed, but nome of the neighbors offered to call the police until it was over, and he left.
Ever since that incident, I've had trust issues and PTSD, resulting in numerous flashbacks. These flashbacks are so scary…I had one this afternoon, and I was in that horrible moment again. I've had therapy in the past, but I need to return for more counseling. It's hard dealing with flashbacks because there are many triggers. I was such a nervous wreck today, so I slept for long hours. I'll never feel entirely safe 100% of the time, I often see ppl who resemble my ex. and my heart races. I hate living like this…I've tried to move on, but the triggers are always present, and so is the fear.
I could use a bit of support, thanks for reading.