Hi, I'm Hanah and I'm 15 years old. I have been going through depression ever since I was little kid and luckily I'm still here, breathing and living
This Is My Story .
My parents in general, are a huge pain the butt. It seems like everything I do or whatever that comes out of my mouth gets me in trouble. Even the little things get me in trouble. I have been living up to my parents expectations and trying to be the goody-smarty-pants that they want me to be, but it seems like this isn't enough for them. To me, its like everyday they try to find a flaw that I have and use it against me so that I can get hurt. They throw a lot of stress on me and I already have enough stress from school and other outside sources. They never give me a break.
Back in third grade .. I remember that my mom and my aunt were having a serious discussion about something. I was excused to leave the kitchen for them to talk. Then I walked into my living room to watch tv after a few hours being inside my room. I heard my mom crying and after that, it struck me. I overheard their conversation clearly and I still remember it well, even to this day. My mom cried in the arms of my aunt, telling her that she wished that I was never born, she wanted to kill me, stab me multiple times and feel the excited feelings of her hands being rinsed in my blood. Ever since that day, she wasn't the mother that I always thought she was. She was just another stranger.
February 28, 2011. 3:44PM
Today, my mom finally snapped. After a month of not speaking to me, she finally set her tongue in place. I thought that the very first thing she would say would be something very-motherly-like, but I was wrong. She started to throw hurtful words at me .. She wanted me to feel like I was an unwanted child and a unloved one as well; I reassure you, she meant it that way. She told various of things. Starting from that I owe her many apologies, I'm low-scum bag wrench, she never loved me, I was a unwanted child, don't call her mother anymore, do whatever I please to do because she won't give a crap about it, she won't be there for me, and finishing off saying that she won't be my mother anymore.
She didn't say a word to me for a month only because of this one reason, I didn't answer her phone call when she called.
I understand that why she got mad, but I do no understand why she hasn't spoke to me for a month. I had a reason, a good reason, but it seems like she didn't care about the reason and wanted a apology instead. My mom is really childish, and it seems like I should be the one disciplining her instead.
My reason; I called her to pick me up from school, then I carried my phone in my hand. I forgot that I didn't turn on the volume of my phone when getting out of class. I was walking to my locker to exchange books and get few other things. I met up with few friends to walk, since our cars pick us up in the same place. Even then, there were big crowds of kids at school. I looked at my phone and saw that my mom called me atleast 7 times. I called her to see what's up, and then she snapped at me for not answering. I couldn't hear what she was saying, and keep saying I can't hear her voice over the loud crowd of kids, then she hung up after yelling, "Walk home.".
You know, it's like parents being busy and not being able to pick-up their phones after calling them 10 times or so, but we don't get mad.
I go through these difficulties everyday, with different reasoning and excuses.
I'm starting to hate my life even more.