Hello to the void and whoever else is reading! I’m back again. Writing my last blog here really gave me a boost emotionally. The last few days have been rough, but I’m getting through it.
Thanks to university classes, I’m usually running on 5 to 6 hours of sleep for the entire week. That is the worst. My focus is down, and I feel like every day is way longer than it has any right to be. Sometimes, I even blurt out things I really don’t mean to. But that actually was a bit of a good thing the other day.
While I was heading to my next course across campus, one of my classmates was walking with me. We mostly were bantering as we went along, and then my friend asked me what my preferred pronouns were. No one has ever asked me this. It was so nice. I just had this moment of feeling really happy and seen and respected. I didn’t even try to hold back or be secretive. I was completely honest. Then we started talking about how we each identified and how it was difficult to be in the closet with our families.
I came out to my friend. It was so natural. I just told them that I liked she/her pronouns and mainly identified as queer. Up till then, I had felt so uncomfortable even hinting to anyone that I’m not straight. I mean, I have good reason. I could loose my job, and my family is pretty homophobic at times. But talking with my friend was really nice. I kind of felt like a whole person.
I always figured coming out to people would have to be a big, scary deal. But this was actually really easy. It was such a relief.
I’m still in the closet right now. But, I’m not alone anymore, which is really great.
So, now I’ve started looking for LGBTQ+ support groups in my area. No surprise here, but living in the super hetro Midwest isn’t a optimal place for queer individuals. At this point in my research, there appears to be around three groups in my area, and that’s counting the two rival college on-campus groups that I think are required. But hey, three is more than zero. I’m going to give the groups a try if I can muster up the courage.
That’s all I have to say for now.
Hang in there, friends!