let me start off by saying that life is not filled with pizza parties and blow jobs. pizza doesn't taste nearly as good when it comes back up, it's a bitch to wipe off of the toilet seat and some people use teeth. to be completely honest, if i were you, i'd start to seriously question if the teeth were accidental or not. so in between the pizza parties, the vomit, the blow jobs and the teeth marks, there's the occasional black eye, bloody nose and split lip. you piss on every car you see with an obama bumper sticker since you've lost your job due to the recession. on top of all that you lose a few friends, some sanity and about twenty-three pounds since your cat died. what the fuck are you so upset about? you hated your job, your friends were all assholes, you were tired of thinking too much and you were always bitching about feeling fat. hell, you fucking hated that stupid cat. 

so one night you walk into some poorly lit bathroom of some bar you can't remember the name of and catch a glimpse of yourself in some dirt caked mirror. is it the flickering and failing neon bulbs that are making you look so jaundice or is your liver finally starting to shit out on you? fuck all that. directing your attention to the dirty, cracked tiles on the floor you sink down and rest your hot face against the cool linoleum of the wall. everything you've ever loved is long gone and anything else that has decided to stick around has steadily begun to lose it's charm. but nothing ever really leaves, it just lingers in the distance and taunts you from afar. 

if we're all living on the eye of god then this so called "progress" is just dust on the lens. we are all cataracts. when will you realize that all of your preaching is worthless when the only response you get from the chorus is a roar of deafening groans? put your faith in something great and divine, divorce yourself from the thought of living forever and marry the idea of losing each other. 

are you happy where you are? are you really happy?

twisted are the chords we use to hang ourselves. we say we're fine, but we go out too often, we drink ourselves into stupors, we shovel pills down our throats, we're all medicating and we lie to ourselves and each other all day just so we can sleep well at night.

sleep well.

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