Intro:
Meet, my nemesis, my anxiety. Shes a total jerk
A full scale riot. With myself. That is what my “anxiety” feels like. I never understood or believed in (anx/depression) until i experienced it myself. I thought it was mental….as in people using their brain to “create” anxiety…..as an excuse.
Now I know that often you don’t contol it, but that it….-attempts- to control you. I am sure that anyone whom has experienced this feeling of being out of control knows that it isn’t made up….because who would want that?!? No one!
What I do know is that I will survive. I will conquer myself, and my mind.
So it is simply with this …I assure you there will be awful days, but there will also be times ( minutes days hours) that you will be okay.
Your anxiety or other situation/diagnosis/issue does not define you.
You are not anxiety.
Your anxiety is not you
It can only control you if you allow it…
So….learn, pray, talk, lean on, and most importantly….
Allow yourself grace. You are here. We are worth it. Even when your mind spins…. you are worth it. Every single time. Every single day. Stat strong. Keep fighting. You are not only your own worst enemy. You are your own advocate and support.
Do not self defeat.
Anxiety is the foe
It is not you
You are you.
You are Alive today, even if that’s all.
You chose to wake up…suck air…and be. and today….you win because of that!!Anxiety fuck off
To explain: ( I’m a poet who didn’t know it….thanks anxiety {jerk})
Sometimes it is a second wind
Where it doesn’t belong
Making me awake
All about nothing and
Everything….at same time
Out of control
Feeling numb and spazzy
At the same time
All utterly….completely
UNWELCOMED!
Every time… feelings of
Nothing and something…
Everything and nothing
All at once
Mind spins
How to explain what’s inside
Empty…full…no one knows
Not even me
Sometimes it’s the details
Overwhelming
Not today.
Just the clouds and haze
Choices from past
Changes being made
Will it ever be enough!!?
Why are things as they are?..
Scars….thoughts….memories…hopes
All feel fleeting
Unreachable…alone
Isolation overwhelming
No one understands
What did I do
Will it be okay?!
Utter panic
That all is ruined ..
Dazed, overstimulated, hurting
When will it end?!
I pray and have faith
There’s no control anyway.
What’s left of it…I let go
Today….I win
Instead of the enemy succeeding
I find words as an outlet
And am thankful
….Back down crippling entity!
Not every time…But this time
I beat you. (And I shall Carry on)
My biggest enemy!!
Very inspired and moving.