We just have found out yesterday mum has BREAST CANCER!I am so anxious, and can't think or do anything properly! I don't know what to do, its not in the bones, which is a good thing, but haven't got the other ct scan results back yet, i am praying like crazy that she will be okay and its only in the breast.

I feel like I can't go on, I can't lose my mum I won't be able to live, she is my life. I know people would say you would be able to, but I CAN'T! And thats what people don't get, that my mum is more then just a loved one. I don't know how to explain it. I can't handle all of this. I am trying so hard to be there for her, and help her, but I just keep getting into a heap thinking what if she doesn't get though.

It's so hard for my mum because her husband (my dad) has said to her that he will not support her if she goes medically, meaning with the doctors. He wants her to go all natural and he thinks that will fix it all. He has moved out at the moment, which is probably best while she makes her mind up and she needs a break from all the fighting.

I keep having panic attacks, and I just know i cannot live without my mum! I had only just realized about 5 months ago that my mum will have to die some day, thinking it will be when she's like 85. I know she can get through it but sometimes you don't know really what can happen. I can't live normally anymore, I have never had much goodness in my life, my whole life has been battles. But now its a different because its my mum the beautiful person that always keeps me going. I am trying not to put much on her or speak to her about all my worries because she needs me, but its so hard to just cut that off when we both are so close and always tell each other everything.

I just want her better and to live a really long life, and to be healthy and happy.

I don't know what to do, my life is falling apart.


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