So… I knew deep down that I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time and I have always tried to deny it. It all became real about a year ago when my anxiety got so bad it was affecting me at work and I knew I had to confront it. I had suffered with panic attacks, nausea and really vivid nightmares for long enough and so I plucked up the courage to go to the doctors. I was then referred for CBT and put on anti-anxiety medication. That is when I was told I actually had an anxiety disorder. I didn’t know how to feel, I guess I had always known I was a ‘worrier’ I just guess I didn’t want to admit how out of control it had got.

Lots of things trigger my anxiety, the main ones being:

  • Being on my own (specifically at night)
  • Driving ( I can’t explain this one, I have been driving for 4 years now but it still scares me)
  • The unknown, new situations and unexpected things I don’t cope well with
  • Something bad happening to people I love (This has been since my mum had a stroke 10 years ago unexpectedly)

Since starting CBT almost a year ago, I do feel like I have my anxiety a little more under control. It doesn’t affect me at work anymore which I am so so happy about! Although it still creeps up on me when I least expect it, letting me know it is still there. I don’t know if it will ever go away, all I can do is keep going and hope that one day I will be free from my anxiety!

 

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