So my mother has found herself a new boyfriend. I'm happy for her. The way she talks about her makes it seems like she's in love. And everyone deserves love. Although I m a little fearful that it might get to be something really serious. She had asked me if I was alright with her having a boyfriend, since I guess it would effect me… I told her that it was fine with me. He wasn't that bad of a guy. He was nerdy and shy. Plus he didn't look very cute but then again he is like 25 years older than me and he's not my boyfriend. I really don't want it to be something really serious though. Like other marriage serious. Or moving in together serious.

My mother has been married 4 times and is currently in a divorce right now… I don't want her to find yet other person that she can rush into a relationship with. I don't want other step-father. I don't want a dad. I am fine with it just being me and mother (and my brother every other weekend). I perfer not having a dad because the fathers that I have had so far always dissapiont me. So why bother?

I don't want them to move in together either. That means that I would be living with him and his 3 kids. They are all younger than I am but that really doesn't bother me. See the thing is, neither my mother or her boyfriend has a house big enough to house 2 adults and 5 kids (including my brother). So that means that they would have to find a house big enough meaning that I have to move away from the town that I am in right now, from my school. I've already moved 3 times. I am SICK AND TIREDof moving. I am three years away from moving out and that really isn't a long time. I don't want to move to a new town and then a year or two later have to move out of that town again and leave all the new friends that I could have possibly made. I've made a lot of friends in my life but I never say in contact with them just because I move so often. I HATE MOVING! I feel like I have no stability in my life because of it. I need stabitity in my life. I just kind of sort of got it back.

I know that I talking like they are going to move in together and get married tomorrow. I know that it might not happen for a long while, if it even happens. But just the simple fact that it can happen scares me. I really tired of my mother making everything in my life so god damn complicated. Why can't she just settle down for a bit? Stop dating?

*Smile*