The loneliness is deafening right now. It howls through the wasteland of my soul like the fetid breath of a thousand demons hissing in unison. Won't someone just please touch me, just pretend for a little while. I will where a mask, or leave the lights off, whatever you need to please put your hands on me. I want you to lie to me and say you care, tell me you love me, just for the moment. I want to feel wanted and embraced. I want to get lost in yours sweet smelling neck, and perfumed thighs. Please let me kiss your lips, I will be ever so gentle. Treat me like I am not a monster, like I am not an ugly piece of trash that won't stop living. I want to curl up behind you and softly rub your back. I want to feel you under my fingertips and play with your hair. You can use a silken blindfold and never have to see me. I promise with all that I have left I will not hurt you. Can no one hear me, is no one listening in the black? There has to be another soul lost in here as well, looking for comfort. I want to lay in the candle light, I want you to pour the wax over me and hold me as I shudder from the pain. I want you to pierce my flesh. I want you to cut my skin and let the blood run. I want you to lick the blood from my body. I want us to entwine in blood and sweat. I want to pierce you. I want to slide the blade ever so gently across your breast. I want to lick the blood as it runs and drips from your nipple. I want us to kiss with our blood on each others lips. I want us to make love, not fuck. I want us to slowly become one and be lost, immune to the black, even for just a small amount of time. I want to make you come and hold you close as you writhe in my arms. I will wash your body by hand with warm cloths. I will dress your wounds and softly kiss your forehead and your face. And then I will die a small death as you leave for I know if this were to happen it would be a gift so rare and fleeting it would surely occur only as a singularity. I know I am not the most pleasing to the eye, but I have a lifetime of want and decades of need for you. I will transform, if only for a moment in time, into a living emotion in your arms. Where are you? The demons are starting to howl again and I need to seek shelter. I am here, in the abyss, in the black. Find me.