Hello, how is everyone doing? Well I'm not doing to good. So I have to write this one out and hopefully talk about this. Anyway on Friday afternoon a friend I haven't seen in a while invited me to a party. I agreed to going. It seemed for some reason I really had to go to this party because she texted me "are you ready for tonight?" and then kept calling me seeing if I would make it on Saturday. So that had me thinking right before I left my house to leave this party. Why does she want me there? Does she really want to see me?…Does she need a dancing partner?…does she need someone to take her home?…I didn't know what was going on. We don't go to the same school so I would be meeting new people and she would be the only person I knew there. She also told me to bring a bottle of alcohol and I did. Well anyways I get there and she's waiting for me right in front and she looks good and her friend did too. We get inside and I see they had a full bar in the fridge. A lot of bottles and beer. So why in the world did I bring my bottle for?? Well as the night went on my friend and I didn't talk much. I guess she wanted me to talk to other people or something. Which is very difficult for me because I'm very shy and I don't know what to say. But the people there were really friendly and everything. I noticed she left to go pick up a friend so I was stuck with her friend. I think I talked to her friend more then her that night. Anyways when she got back she didn't talk that much at all. I should mention by this time she was kinda getting drunk and high. Well at this point she started talking to this other guy and they start to make out, her friend goes off with a guy too. It seemed that everyone there was paring up and everything. But once I saw she was with another guy I kinda she felt so depressed. She choose another guy to make out with instead of me. It crushed me. I don't like her a lot but I do find her very attractive. I didn't like that I was over looked. Anyways I soon as I saw that I went into their fridge and took the biggest bottle, which was Brandy and took it. I figured that would be re-inbursement for what I spent for that party. She took $20 for me, she wanted to "borrow" it, but I don't know for what for. Plus the bottle I bottle so I think we were kinda even. Plus I like brandy. I left the party with my bottle of brandy and drove back to the area I live. I didn't go home because I was getting really angry. It's not that I was angry with her but I always get angry at myself. I was asking myself "Why am I not good enough for anyone"?. Because this has happened before. Well there was Nelissa picked another guy to be her boyfriend instead of me….there was Jazminee who at the party she invted me too for 4th of July party also picked another guy to dance with….there was Chelsea who didn't like me anymore of just one month of talking to eachother and getting to know…. and now this. Getting back to that night. I was scared I was going to back to my house because I would be too mad that I would start breaking stuff out of anger. So I went to a person I don't talk to that much anymore but I knew he would be there for me. And I just broke down. I told me everything that has happened and also how miserable I have been these last few months. This night was the ignition of something that has prolonging for months now. Eveyone has left my side. My friends, this girl I talked to everyday (she was almost a best friend to me), my cousin Melissa doesn't talk to me either. So I kept asking him "What is wrong with me?" "Why am I not good enough"?. He told me that I was a good guy and these things happened and that was it he couldn't tell me anything else. He was at work and had to get back to it so I just waited for him in the car and just try to make sense of all of this. Why did she invite me to the party in the first place???? Thats what I don't understand. I saw I had one missed call from her. I didn't call back because I think I would have yelled at her or something. When my friend got off of work him and his co-worker took me some place to eat. We ate and I sat there listening to their conversation. I gave my friend the bottle of Brandy I didn't want to have it and I left home and just fell asleep. I bugged me the whole day at work and even now. She didn't text me to ask how I was doing or what happened. As far as she knows I just left. She doesn't know why. Or maybe she knows. But she posted a picture on facebook of her and her friend saying "Great night #friends" So it seemed that she had fun. So she could have easily had fun without her invinting me. It was a mistake going. This is the last thing I need. I hope I feel better soon. Also my friend tweeted this after we talked "The strongest people aren't those that keep their emotions concealed but those who know the battles worth fighting and the meaningless ones" I know it has something to do about me but not sure the meaning. Well thanks again for listening.

1 Comment
  1. ballislife 9 years ago

    I can tell we\'re just alike bro , I\'m always over thinking things and keeping my emotions bottled up. That causes me to be very quiet even tho I\'m not a quiet person. But their never going to understand unless we tell them how we feel. Theirs nothing wrong with you , just speak what\'s on your mind with the people who love you. \”family\”.

    1 kudos

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